


Unexpected

by Zorro_sci



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce thinks he's lower than dirt, M/M, Protective Tony Stark, Suspicious!Tony, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark has it bad for Bruce, Warning: Dubious Consent, Warning: suspected abuse, pining!tony, warning: abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 28,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2626328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorro_sci/pseuds/Zorro_sci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony cares deeply about Bruce Banner. Probably even loves him.  He only wants what's best for him.  That was why he didn't say anything when the shy physicist started dating the virtuous super soldier.  They were a good match.  A much better match than he and Bruce would be . .  .right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Giving him the World

As far as Tony Stark was concerned, Bruce Banner deserved the world. The man has been dealt such a bad hand in life, but somehow he had managed not only to survive, but to give back to others along the way. He was amazing, though he himself didn't see it. He was smart, (a genius), kind, (rage monster or not), and the most adorable and yet somehow simultaneously sexy man he had ever met (though Bruce seemed to think very little of his looks). 

From the moment he met him, Tony wanted nothing more than to bring the rumpled scientist home and give him everything the world had taken from him. Bruce deserved a home, safety, friends, and meaningful work as a scientist. Tony desperately wanted to give him those things, but he wasn't so sure that Bruce would ever accept them. He was his own worst enemy in many ways, and he truly believed that he didn't deserve those things. That was perhaps why more than anything, Tony wanted to help Bruce think better of himself. The man had less self-esteem than a rock, and that bothered Tony to no end. 

With these things in mind, Tony developed a plan to get Bruce to stay with him when the crisis was over. He schemed and wheedled, and when the smoke cleared, Bruce hopped into his car and they went back to the Tower together. Everything was going to plan. Before long Bruce had a whole floor of the Tower to call his own, his own lab, and a Science Bro to work with for hours and hours on end doing whatever experiments occurred to them and making huge advances in science as they did so.

It was almost perfect. Bruce was starting to come out of his shell, and the two of them got along so well you would think they had been best friends all of their lives. They spent most of their time working seamlessly side by side in the lab, and when they left the lab they shared meals and watched movies together while they laughed and just enjoyed each other's presence. The only problem was, the more time that Tony spent with Bruce, the less satisfied he was with only being his friend. They understood each other so well, they complimented each other, and Tony couldn't help but believe that the same would be true if they were to take their relationship to the next level.

The problem was, Tony didn't want to scare away Bruce if he wasn't interested, and it was always so hard to get a read on the other man. He flirted a little to try to gauge the physicist's reaction, but he couldn't get any conclusive data from the action. He was deciding whether or not to up the ante, when Bruce came into the lab looking extremely flustered one day.

"What's up Big Guy?" Tony asked casually.

"I . . .uh . . . Steve . . .he asked me on a date," Bruce fumbled.

"He did? What did you tell him?" Tony asked, carefully keeping his voice neutral, even as he felt a stab of jealously, (seriously! the super soldier had moved in all of a week ago, and he had already asked Bruce out?).

"I told him I'd have to think about it. I didn't know what to say. I really shouldn't be dating anyone. It's not safe. I should go back and tell him no. I wonder why I didn't think of that before . . . " Bruce said quickly.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold up," Tony said, stepping between the other man and the door. "Are you saying 'no' because you truly don't want to date him, or because you're afraid?"

"Tony," Bruce said sharply.

"No, Bruce, you deserve happiness. If going out with Steve would make you happy, then you should. You shouldn't let your fears get in the way. Besides, you've got a handle on the Big Guy. Let yourself have some fun. You deserve to have a life," Tony countered.

"But, I . . ." Bruce floundered, his face looking lost.

"Bruce, forgetting about the Hulk, do you _want_ this? Because if you don't, it's a moot point, but if you do, I really think you should go back and accept," Tony said gently.

Bruce froze and considered what Tony had said before he nodded.

"Thanks, Tony. . . . I guess I'll go tell him I accept," he replied, his cheeks coloring slightly.

Tony watched him leave with a slight pang, but he knew he wouldn't say anything. This was what Bruce wanted. Besides, Steve was Captain America. He was virtuous and good, and probably far better for Bruce than Tony could ever be. This was for the best, because Bruce deserved the world, and Steve could give him things that Tony couldn't. As selfish as Tony was, he couldn't be selfish enough to keep that from Bruce.


	2. Suspicions

First, Bruce stopped having dinner with Tony. It really only made sense. Now that Bruce was dating Steve, they doubtlessly wanted to spend time together. It wasn't so weird that Bruce would choose to spend evenings with his boyfriend rather than his lab partner, so Tony thought nothing of it. Besides, he still got to see Bruce on team dinner and movie night. Not that it was the same, but it was hardly unexpected.

Then, Bruce started spending less time in the lab. Before, it hadn't been uncommon for the pair of scientists to spend days on end in the lab. Tony hadn't been expecting that to continue, so he wasn't surprised when Bruce reduced his lab hours to first ten and then eight hour a day. He was a little taken a back when he lowered his lab hours to six hours a day, and now that Bruce was spending no more than four hours a day in the laboratory, he was completely shocked.

Then again, maybe it wasn't so surprising. Bruce was in a new relationship. He should enjoy it. If that meant more time with Steve and less time in the lab, so be it. Still, it was hard for the billionaire to get used to. He missed Bruce, and he was quite frankly a little surprised by the physicist's absence. Bruce didn't seem like the type to get so goo-goo eyed he avoided his work, but how well did Tony really know him?

Still, the thought planted seeds of doubt in Tony's mind. What if Bruce was staying away at Steve's urging? What if the soldier was jealous of all the time that Bruce spent in the lab? The time he spent with Tony?

Surely that was ridiculous. Steve had no reason to be jealous, and he wouldn't treat Bruce like that. He was a good man, not some macho, control freak. Furthermore, Bruce wouldn't let himself be controlled like that . . . .would he?

Tony had just about pushed those thoughts from his mind, when Bruce walked into the lab with several large hickeys obviously visible on his neck. Their bold, angry presence seemed like a brand, proclaiming that Bruce was taken. Tony knew that he was probably reading too much into it, the bruises probably just the playful result of an intimate moment between Bruce and Steve, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Bruce was probably less than comfortable with such a visible marking. He could hardly imagine Bruce consenting to such a thing, but he was probably letting his jealousy cloud his judgement. 

Still, later that night, when the team gathered around the penthouse living room for movie night, Tony couldn't help but notice the way Steve was holding Bruce. He had one arm wrapped around the small scientist's shoulder, pulling him against the larger man's side, and one arm across his knees, which were pulled up onto the super soldier's lap. It wasn't the first time the pair had arranged themselves that way, but suddenly the tight wrap of Steve's arms seemed much more possessive than it had previously, as if rather than comforting Bruce, he were staking his claim.

Tony needed to get a grip. He was seeing things that weren't there. He had decided not to say anything to Bruce when he had the chance, and now he was jealous. It was that simple. So he told himself, but he couldn't quiet the little voice in the back of his mind that told him that he hadn't said anything because he had thought that Steve was the better man. If he was wrong . . . .if Steve really was controlling Bruce . . .he didn't want to think about it.


	3. Hulk be good

Tony did his best to forget his suspicions, but they wouldn't leave him alone. They got so bad, he was afraid he would confront Steve, so he hid in his workshop during the next team dinner. If he didn't see the way Rogers was holding, ( _claiming_ ), Bruce, then he couldn't react. Or so he thought. Turns out that his imagination was pretty powerful. He pictured Steve holding Bruce against himself as if the other man were a beloved pet or a small child, and looking at the others in the room as if daring anyone to question that the other man was _his_. He saw Steve biting down on Bruce's neck, marking him, in front of the entire team. Tony knew all of these situations were imagined. Still, they seemed so real. In a fit of anger, he threw his wrench against the wall. He was wrong. It was all in his head. It had to be!

His imagination was running wild, and whatever really was happening between the pair was nothing Bruce seemed to be objecting to. Besides, if Bruce truly felt threatened he had the Other Guy as backup. There had been no hulk-outs or near hulk-outs lately, so Bruce must not be feeling too upset with the way things were going with Steve. Right?

Still, Tony was unable to get over whatever feeling it was that was bothering him, so he kept his distance and sulked in his workshop until the Avengers were called to assemble. Then he suited up with the rest of the team, and did his job. 

Giant robots were attacking Boston, and rather poorly constructed ones at that. Tony could have made better robots when he was a child, but that just made them that much easier to defeat. Soon they were reduced to large piles of scrap metal after a battle that had truly been no challenge at all.

Some might be happy that it was so easy to save the day, but not Tony. He thrived on the adrenaline rush of danger, and this whole experience had left him incredibly bored. He imagined Hulk felt much the same way, so, seeking some amusement, he picked up one of the giant robot heads and threw it toward the lumbering giant.

"Catch, Big Guy," he called.

The rage monster caught the piece of metal gently and looked looked at Iron Man with confusion all over his face.

"You must still want to smash, there wasn't a whole lot of time for it. We could smash robot pieces if you want . . ." Tony suggested.

Hulk put the robot part down on a nearby pile of debris almost gently and shook his head.

"Fight over. Star man say no more smash. Extra smash make people scared of Hulk. Hulk listen. No more smash. Hulk be good," the behemoth said.

"If you say so Big Guy," the billionaire answered, trying not to laugh at how earnest Hulk sounded.

It was only later that Tony thought back on what Hulk had said and wondered about it's meaning. _Hulk be good._ Was he worried about what would happen if he wasn't good? Did "Star man" have something to do with this? Had Steve somehow manipulated Hulk into falling in line by convincing him people would be afraid of him if he didn't do what Steve wanted? Was that even possible? It seemed clear enough from previous interactions he had had with Hulk that he didn't like it when people were afraid of him, but surely Tony was jumping to conclusions if he thought Steve was somehow exploiting that. He wouldn't. And Tony was just being paranoid. . .right?

Tony watched more closely during the next few battles. He supposed he may have imagined it, because he was looking for it, but it seemed like Hulk was quicker to follow Steve's orders than before. He seemed very eager to please. Much more so than he had been before. He also seemed to take criticism from the Captain very hard, almost recoiling in on himself if he was chastised in the slightest. That seemed out of character for the rage monster that had usually responsed to such comments with a snort and an annoyed snarl in the past. 

Then again, maybe he was just trying to be a better team member? Or maybe Bruce's personality was starting to bleed through more? The Big Guy and Bruce had greatly improved their communication in the past few months, it wouldn't be so unusual for Hulk to pick up some of Bruce's mannerisms . . .still it seemed wrong, and that bothered Tony. Even if he was far from ready to voice any suspicions yet. Not without more evidence.


	4. Broken Glass and Overrides

After yet another night where Tony's suspicious mind wouldn't let him sleep, he wandered into the lab at three in the morning. He hoped that work might silence his mind, and take his thoughts off of a certain physicist and his super soldier boyfriend. Besides, if he wasn't going to sleep, he might as well try to do something productive.

When he opened the door to the lab, he realized that he wasn't alone. A small light illuminated the far back corner over by Bruce's stuff, and there were soft clinking noises filling the air. But surely Bruce wouldn't be up in that lab at that hour . . .at least not anymore.

Tony approached the light and saw that, yes, it was Bruce. The physicist was huddled over his makeshift medical exam table and appeared to be pulling pieces of glass from a series of lacerations on his right forearm.

"What happened?" Tony asked in shock as he took in the blood and the small pile of glass shards.

Bruce started, but then turned to face Tony trying to keep his face neutral.

"Don't get too close. My blood is radioactive . . . . " Bruce pleaded.

Tony stopped, but flashed Bruce a look that said 'you didn't answer my question; I'm waiting for an answer. I'm not leaving until I get one.'

"I couldn't sleep so I came down to run some experiments. Well, I guess I was more tired than I thought. I got careless and some of my test tubes exploded. I put up my arm to cover my face, but some of the glass shards embedded into it, so I figured I better get this cleaned up and stitched up before I contaminated anything else," Bruce said with a slight note of resignation in his tone.

Tony highly doubted that the explanation that Bruce offered was the truth. There didn't appear to be any glass or other evidence of an explosion in the lab. It seemed pretty unlikely that Bruce swept the floor and cleaned the lab bench before he went to take care of his arm, though it wasn't impossible, (if Bruce thought the mess would inconvenience someone else he might just have cleaned it up first). 

Furthermore, from what Tony could see, the glass didn't look like it had come from a test tube. It seemed much more likely it had come from a bottle, or maybe a jar. But why would a jar or bottle have broken against Bruce's arm? And why would he have lied about it? . . . .unless . . . Tony's stomach turned at just the thought. 

"Do you need any help?" Tony asked in what he hoped was a level voice, (given the thoughts currently rushing through his head, he was far from sure that he achieved it).

"Radioactive, remember? You can't get close enough to help. Besides, I've got this," Bruce answered quickly.

"If you're sure . . ."

"I am."

"You should really be more careful."

"Accidents happen."

Tony nodded, but couldn't help but wonder if there was some double meaning to those last words. He was far from sure that whatever happened was an accident, but for now he would have to take Bruce at his word. Believing what Bruce said was certainly better than believing the alternative, (though it seemed to be on repeat in Tony's head, refusing to leave him alone).

Unable to leave, or tear his eyes from Bruce, he stared as the doctor meticulously finished cleaning all the debris from the gashes and then carefully sutured them shut. When the freshly closed wounds were covered loosely in white gauze, Tony finally awoke from his daze and met the physicist's eye. There was something about his face. Something resigned and sorrowful written across his features.

"Bruce . . ."

"I should get to bed. Like I said, I was tired and careless. I should probably try to sleep."

"Of course. Good night."

Tony watched Bruce leave, and then waited several minutes to be sure he was gone.

"JARVIS, did Bruce return to his floor or Steve's?" Tony asked.

"Dr. Banner took the elevator to Captain Roger's floor, sir," the AI responded.

"Was he on Steve's floor before he came down here?" Tony inquired.

"My records indicated that prior to your arrival, the last trip to the lab started on Captain Roger's floor," JARVIS reported.

That was what Tony was afraid of . . . . 

"Pull security footage from Steve's floor from the last two hours," he instructed tersely.

"But, sir, that would be a violation of his privacy. You promised that you would only violate the other Avengers' privacy in extreme cases," the mechanical voice objected.

"This is an extreme case," Tony shot back in a tone that left no room for argument.

If Tony's worst fears were right, this definitely was a reason for an exception . . .and if not, well then he could finally move past all of the doubts and suspicions that were relentlessly making their presence known in his mind.

His creation fell silent, and then when he spoke again, his voice sounded hesitant and confused, (if an AI were capable of such emotions), "Sir, it appears that my access to Captain Roger's floor has been restricted."

"What?!?"

"I don't have access to the security camera, sensors or anything else on that floor."

"How could that be!?! I integrated you into all parts of the Tower."

"I am unsure, sir. . . . Though there appears to have been a fairly recent update to my code. Perhaps the two are related."

"What?!? I didn't update anything . . ."

Tony started scrolling through the long string of complex codes that made up JARVIS, and then he saw it. An override code that prevented JARVIS from interfacing with any of the technology on either Bruce's or Steve's floors. His AI had been hacked! There weren't many people who would be capable of that . . .and given the floors affected, it was an almost certainty that Bruce was the one responsible. The question was why, and Tony didn't like any of the possible answers.


	5. Proof?

Tony's fingers flew across his keyboard as he undid Bruce's override. He wanted to be angry at the other scientist. He had hacked his AI, and that was a breach of his trust. Still, he couldn't manage it. He was far too worried, because if Bruce wanted to hide something badly enough to tamper with JARVIS, (when he knew how Tony would feel about that), whatever he was hiding must be pretty significant. He wouldn't risk falling out with Tony over something trivial. 

It also did nothing to soothe Tony's fears that Steve's floor was included. Or that the change was "fairly recent." Had the override been older and merely for Bruce's floor, Tony would have understood. He wouldn't fault Bruce for not wanting to feel like he was constantly being watched given his background. That, however, did not appear to be the case, given what JARVIS had told him, and that was enough to make him work double-time to regain access to the cameras in Steve's apartment.

"J, the security cameras should be back online, show me the live feed," Tony instructed.

A nearby screen lit up to show Bruce and Steve cuddled together on Steve's bed. The physicist was wrapped tightly in the larger man's muscular arms, his slight build making him seem fragile in comparison.

"Baby, I'm so, so sorry. I really didn't mean to. I just . . . I don't know what happened. It was an accident," Steve apologized profusely as he stroked a hand through his boyfriend's hair.

"Accidents happen. I forgive you," Bruce reassured.

"I love you," the super soldier whispered, planting a kiss on Bruce's forehead and pulling him a little closer.

"I love you, too," Bruce replied quietly, but if Tony wasn't mistaken, he flinched ever so slightly as he was drawn closer.

Tony waved off the screen and started to pace. _Baby, I'm so sorry . . . Didn't mean to . . .it was an accident_. The words played on repeat in Tony's mind. They seemed like proof that Tony's worries were justified. Still, even if he had been suspicious for a while, it was pretty hard to believe that Captain America was guilty of partner abuse.

Then again, maybe his words really should be taken at face value. Maybe he somehow _**did**_ accidentally and completely unintentionally hurt Bruce . . .but Tony seriously doubted that. 

So . . .if he was right, if Steve really was abusing Bruce, what should he do? He honestly didn't know. Bruce had obviously gone to pretty extreme lengths to prevent Tony from finding out, so if he confronted him directly it would likely go badly. Then again, how could he say nothing? The thought of anyone hurting Bruce made him feel sick; he couldn't just look the other way if Bruce wasn't being treated right.

Tony sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. Maybe if he slept on it he would have a better idea of what to do. There was little more he could do that night, so he made his way back to his bedroom and tried once again to sleep.

Despite all his efforts, sleep evaded Tony. Each time he closed his eyes, his imagination ran wild. He saw Steve throwing empty mayonnaise jars at Bruce in a fit of rage as the physicist huddled into a ball on the floor to try to avoid the exploding glass shards. He pictured the blonde red-faced and panting as he rained blows down on the cowering scientist. Countless situations played out in his head, each one worse than the last.


	6. Breakfast

Tony finally decided to give up on the possibility of sleep, and made his way into the common kitchen. He didn't really want to be alone, and there was almost always someone in the kitchen. And given it was five in the morning, it was almost a certainty someone would already be up for the day.

He wasn't disappointed. Upon entering the kitchen he found Clint sitting on the back of one of the kitchen table chairs eating breakfast. 

"Morning," Clint called around a mouthful of what looked like granola.

Tony nodded an acknowledgment at the archer and made a beeline for the coffee maker. He was going to need coffee, and lots of it, to be of any use today after his sleepless night.

He made his way to the table and sat across from Clint. He lowered his gaze to stare into his coffee, because while the other man's presence was a comfort, he had no desire to talk at the moment. Not when the only thing on his mind was what he was going to do about Bruce and Steve.

A sharp wolf-whistle drew his eyes up from the black sea of his coffee. What was Clint . . . .oh. Bruce walked into the kitchen wearing a form fitting suit and a purple tie.

"Looking good, doc. And, may I say, the choice in tie color is inspired," Clint commented.

Bruce flushed crimson under the archer's attention, fidgeting adorably and backing up a half-step toward the door. In his awkward backward shuffle, Bruce nearly ran into Steve who had entered into the room on his heels. The soldier, who was also in a suit, wrapped his arms around the scientist protectively, ( _or was it possessively?_ Tony thought), and leveled an exaggerated glare at Clint.

"Are you trying to make a move on my guy?" Steve teased.

Clint held up his hands in mock surrender, "I know better than to try to cuckold Captain America. You won't have any problems from me."

Perhaps under other circumstances, Tony would have ignored their exchange, written it off as playful banter, or even joined in on the teasing. Today he couldn't. Now, he couldn't help but think there was something darker under the teasing, and it made his stomach flip as his mind was forced back to the same sickening cycle it had been on the night before.

"You alright?" a soft, concerned voice asked next to his ear. 

He turned his head toward the sound to find Bruce sitting next to him and studying him with his beautiful, chocolate brown eyes and a look of worry written across his face.

"Fine. I didn't sleep last night. I'm just a little spacey," he dismissed.

"You really ought to take better care of yourself. I won't hesitate to call Pepper if you start pulling lab marathons until you pass out again," Bruce warned, his voice caring even as he threatened the other man.

"I'll be fine," Tony said again, before he abruptly changed the subject, (Bruce's concern was too much, especially when he felt like he should be the one trying to protect Bruce). "So, what has the two of you all dressed up this morning?"

"The president invited us to brunch," Steve informed.

"Well, he invited _you_ ," Bruce clarified. "I'm just his plus one."

Steve ignored the comment and went to get a cup of coffee. He had just finished adding his cream and sugar when JARVIS' voice broke the silence.

"Sirs, the Avengers are being asked to assemble in the Quinjet hangar," the mechanical voice informed evenly.

"I should probably get out of this suit, wouldn't want to ruin it," Bruce muttered.

"Guess the president will have to wait," Clint commented, jumping off the chair.


	7. Protocol 7-18-5514

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: Dubious consent**

The battle had raged on for hours as the Avengers fought against what felt like a legion of Doombots. Finally, they had downed the last bucket of bolts and made their way back to the Tower.

On the way back, Bruce had leaned against Steve heavily while the larger man wrapped an arm tightly around him. Then, once they had reached the Tower, the captain has dragged Bruce insistently toward his floor, (which best Tony could tell, Bruce had practically moved into at this point). Tony watched them leave wondering what Steve's hurry was.

At first, Tony tried to convince himself that the soldier was just tired, and knew Bruce would be exhausted after so many hours as the Other Guy, so he was trying to get them to bed as quickly as possible. Then, he second guessed himself, and decided to make his way down to the lab and see for himself what the rush was.

"J, play the security feed from Roger's floor," Tony instructed as soon as he was sure he was alone. 

"Yes sir," JARVIS replied hesitantly.

Tony realized the reason for the AI's hesitation when one of the nearby screen lit up with the footage. Bruce was completely naked and on his knees, and Steve was quickly working toward the same state of undress. 

"JARVIS, turn off the . . . Wait!" 

He had been intending to stop watching, he really had. Watching his best friend have sex, (especially when if he was honest with himself he was probably in love with his best friend), was not something he wanted to do. That said, there was something off with what he was seeing. As he looked closer, he realized that Bruce was shaking, trembling with the effort to stay on his knees.

 _He's too tired for this. He can barely stay upright after all the time he spent as Hulk. He should be asleep, not doing this,_ Tony thought.

On the screen, Steve finished removing his pants and boxers. Then he presented his erect member to Bruce, who immediately began sucking him off.

The slight physicist seemed to be straining to move at all, but he approached his task with as much fervor as he could manage. It didn't seem to be enough for the other man, however. Steve seemed far from satisfied with Bruce's efforts as he grabbed onto the other man's hair and began thrusting into his mouth at a brutal pace. 

Bruce's eyes went wide, and he gagged and began to choke, but the other man seemed not to notice. He just pulled out slightly and then continued driving forward at the punishing pace, ignoring all of Bruce's sounds of distress, until he was spent.

Steve pulled out his soft cock, and Bruce fell slightly forward and braced himself on his hands, panting as if he couldn't get enough air into his lungs. The blond walked around the brunette's crumpled form and purred something that Tony couldn't understand as he ran a hand over Bruce's curls and down his back. Whatever he said, it seemed to have little effect on Bruce, who continued shaking violently on the floor, too exhausted to do anything else.

Tony desperately wanted to look away, what he was seeing was sickening him, but for some reason he couldn't. He knew he shouldn't be watching, but at the same time he felt like he needed to know. If he knew what was happening, maybe he would know how to approach the situation. Maybe he could prevent Bruce from ever having to go through what he had just seen ever again . . .or maybe he should have stopped it this time, he realized with guilt settling in his stomach. He had been so transfixed by the horror of what was happening that he had just gaped. Couldn't he have just taken the elevator up to Steve's floor and burst in to stop it? Sure it would have been awkward, but it would have stopped Bruce from being . . . 

"You could not have stopped them, Sir," JARVIS intoned, as if he had read his creator's thoughts, (or, as it turns out, heard them, as Tony had voiced his guilt outloud).

"What do you mean, J?" Tony asked.

"Dr. Banner has locked down the floor using protocol 7-18-5514," the AI explained. "You would not be able to override the lock, and with the reinforced doors and windows you would be forced to use enough explosive that you would threaten compromising the integrity of the entire floor if you were to try to blast your way inside."

"Protocol 7-18-5514 was meant to keep people out if Bruce was afraid he was going into an uncontrolled Hulk-out, or if for some reason there was serious gamma radiation contamination. I didn't think he would use it for this . . ." Tony lamented, wishing he had never created the protocol.

Bruce had been afraid that if something happened, Tony would charge recklessly into the situation, (which he honestly probably would have), and put himself at risk. He was so worried that Tony would get hurt and it would be "his fault" that he seemed driven to distraction, so Tony had created protocol 7-18-5514 to ease his mind, (and to prevent him from leaving to try to protect his friend). It allowed JARVIS to monitor the situation remotely, but prevented Tony from physically entering the area, no matter what override code he tried to use to open the locks. Tony figured the worse that would happen is that the Big Guy would get out, smash for a bit, (the whole Tower had been reinforced against Hulk), and then turned back to Bruce. No danger except a little property damage, and much less guilt and self-loathing on Bruce's part if he knew there was not even the possibility of him hurting someone. He sorely regretted his previous assessment of the potential harm of the protocol now.

Tony turned back to the still lit screen and realized that while he was distracted by his guilt-filled thoughts, a once again fully hard Steve, (did he seriously have a five minute or less refractory period?), had flipped Bruce onto the bed. He spread the smaller man's legs and began to prep him for penetration with an almost animalistic hunger in his eyes. Bruce lay near motionlessly on the bed, awake but clearly too spend to move, and seemingly resigned to what was about to happen.

"Leave him alone!" Tony screamed at the screen, frustrated by his own helplessness in this situation. "Can't you see he's too tired to want this?!?"

His screams of course made no difference, and instead he watched the soldier plunge balls-deep into the exhausted physicist. Then, leaving no time for adjustment on Bruce's part, he began to piston in and out of the unmoving man. He bit at Bruce's shoulders, and grabbed what appeared to be bruisingly hard at his hips to shift them to a more desirable angle. He moaned and grunted as he thrust harder and faster until he came with a cry. He pulled out a few minutes later, and lay down panting next to the physicist, who had still barely moved.

Fists balled in anger, and tears streaming down his cheeks, Tony waved off the screen and tried to figure out what to do with what he had just seen.


	8. A Severe Misstep

An exhausted and emotionally spent Tony had blown up a few things in his anger, and then tried to get some sleep. He tossed and turned, but he couldn't settle down. Every time he closed his eyes he was forced to relive what he had witnessed on the security footage frame by frame, which just led to him feeling angry and guilty again, so he returned to the lab to blow more things up. Finally convinced this would become an unending and highly destructive cycle, (both literally and figuratively), he tried to think about what he should do.

He was unsurprisingly unable to think straight, so he made his way to the kitchen to sulk over a tuna fish sandwich, and maybe avoid being alone with his guilt. 

_Well, one out of two,_ he thought as he assembled his sandwich in the empty kitchen.

The others had probably eaten right after they returned to the Tower, and now they were all probably sleeping or decompressing using whatever coping mechanism they favored. Speaking of coping mechanisms . . . Tony looked longing over at the bar. A bottle or two of scotch would go a long way to quiet the gnawing feeling of guilt in his stomach and numb the acute ache in his heart.

Still, he knew he wouldn't. Alcohol might make him feel comfortably numb, but it was triggering for Bruce. _And if Bruce needs me . . . ._ He certainly wasn't going to let something like alcohol prevent him from being ready to be there for Bruce at a moment's notice. Especially not after he had been powerless to stop . . .whatever that was he had witnessed.

He stayed rooted to his spot, pondering when Bruce had become the single most important thing in his life, long after his sandwich was gone. Then, as if thinking about him so intensely had conjured him up, Bruce trudged into the kitchen. He seemed not to notice Tony as he filled the tea kettle with water and put it on the stovetop. Nor did he seem to register that he was not alone as he readied a mug with a bag of tea, or pulled out the ingredients for pancakes and started stirring together what had to be enough batter for over a dozen pancakes.

The tea kettle whistled, and Bruce went to grab his mug only to stop short in surprise.

"Good morning, Tony. I didn't see you . . .would you like some pancakes?" Bruce asked his tone caught somewhere between surprised and sheepish.

"If you're sure they'll be enough," he teased.

"I could always make more," the other man responded, his tone completely serious.

"Just make sure you don't fill up on pancakes," Steve warned as he walked into the kitchen in his workout clothes. "The president rescheduled our breakfast meeting for seven this morning."

"I don't think it'll be a problem," Bruce said, his stomach growling loudly as a slight grimace pulled at his lips.

"You're probably right," Steve said as he reached around Bruce to grab a bagel, planted a quick kiss to his cheek, and then disappeared from the kitchen again.

"Is this the first time you've eaten since we got home?" Tony asked once he was sure he and Bruce were alone.

Bruce smiled sheepishly as he brought the mountain of pancakes over to the table, and Tony had his answer.

"Didn't you say you got muscle cramps and felt like shit if you didn't eat in the first few hours after a hulk-out? Bruce, it's been nearly twelve hours! 

I know Steve was eager to drag you to bed and all, but you are allowed to say what you need," Tony scolded.

"I was going to, but we got . . .distracted," Bruce commented.

"I'll say he did. He was absolutely single-minded about it," Tony scoffed.

"What?!?" The physicist returned, raising an eyebrow at the engineer.

"Look Bruce, I know what you and Steve did when you got back to your bedroom. I saw the security feed. . . ." Tony started with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop.

"You what?!?" Bruce snarled.

"I saw the security feed, so . . . I know . . . I know what Steve did, and . . .it wasn't right. He shouldn't have been that rough with you . . . "

"Ever stop to consider for a minute that maybe I _like_ it rough!"

"Not really, because you weren't even the tiniest bit hard throughout the entire thing."

"Tony! I can't believe that you watched that! What, do you get off on that sort of thing?!?"

"What?!? No!"

"Then why would you watch us having sex?!? Have you watched us before?"

"No! Look, it was an accident, I . . ."

"If it were an accident you think you would have stopped watching, but you clearly didn't if you know what I was doing "throughout" what we were doing! 

Do you realize what a violation of my trust that was! That was meant to be a private moment! It's really none of your business Tony!"

"Look, Bruce, I'm really sorry. I just thought . . . "

"That Steve was taking advantage of me?!? Let me assure you Tony, everything that happens between me and Steve is completely consensual. Just because you saw something you shouldn't doesn't mean that you understand the situation."

"If you say so . . ."

Tony was now truly confused. Was what Bruce said true? _Did_ he like it rough? And _did_ he and Steve have some sort of agreement? It was certainly possible, but it seemed just as likely that Bruce was trying to cover for Steve, and not knowing which was the true situation didn't sit well with him. One thing was for sure though, he had approached the situation the complete wrong way, and now Bruce was less likely than ever to confide in him.


	9. Rhodey

"I screwed up, Rhodey," Tony blurted when he heard his friend answer the phone.

"Hello, Tony. I'm fine. How are you?" Rhodey responded, his tone chastising the other man for skipping the preliminaries.

"I mean it."

Tony heard a heavy sigh on the other end of the line.

"How likely is it your house is going to be blown up, and who's trying to kill you this time?"

"No one is trying to kill me . . . At least I don't think anyone is. It's just . . . I really made a mess of things with Bruce."

"Already? How long have you two been together? It couldn't be that long. . .what did you do? . . . Did you cheat on him? Tony, tell me you did not cheat on the Hulk."

"Calm down. I didn't cheat on him. We're not together, so it would be kinda hard to cheat on him . . .not that I've been with anyone else lately . . .well, or him. The point is, I didn't cheat on him, and we're not together."

"Okay . . .but I thought . . . "

"He's dating Steve."

There was a slight pause, and then a low whistle on the other side of the line.

"Wow. Nerdy physicist/rage monster sure knows how to punch above his weight. Captain America, huh?"

"Uh, first, Bruce is a sexy, awesome genius, and Steve is lucky to have _him_. Second, that's my problem."

"Yeah, I can see how it would be hard to compete with Captain America. Even for someone like you."

"I didn't compete with him. Bruce seemed into him, and he's a lot more wholesome or whatever than I am, so I didn't say anything to Bruce. He doesn't know."

"Tony, you've got it bad! Did you just hear yourself? I never thought I'd see the day . . . "

"Yeah, yeah, make fun of me later. . . .look, like I said, I thought Steve would be better for him. The better man or whatever, but I'm starting to have my doubts . . . And I shot my mouth off to Bruce like an idiot, and he just denied it, and now he's mad at me because I was watching them, even though I didn't really mean to, and he doesn't trust me, so even if there _is_ something going on he won't tell me because he thinks I'm untrustworthy . . . And I can't sleep or think because I keep thinking about it and it makes me want to scream and possibly kill Captain America . . . .well, maybe not kill him, but I'd really like to get in a few good punches at least."

"Whoa . . . Tony breathe. Let's go back a second. . . .you said you're starting to have doubts that Captain Rogers is the better man . . .what do you mean by that?"

Tony took a deep breath and then admitted, "I think he's abusing Bruce."

Rhodey went silent, leaving Tony time to contemplate what he had said. It was the first time he'd said it out loud. But now that he had, he couldn't help but feel like a burden had been lifted because he had finally put words to what was happening, while another one was placed on his shoulders, because now that he had admitted what was happening he _needed_ to stop it.

"That's a pretty serious accusation, Tony. Do you have any evidence?"

"Well . . .nothing concrete, but the other night I went down to the lab, and Bruce was cleaning a whole bunch of broken glass out of some cuts on his arm. It looked like someone hit him with something made of glass, but he said it was from a lab explosion."

"It could have been. If he's anything like you, he probably blows things up all the time."

"No, he's more careful than me."

"Tony, we're talking about the man who had a lab accident that turned him into the Hulk. Nothing against him, but you can't exactly claim he's accident-free."

"But that's _why_ he's so careful. Besides, there was no mess. No broken glass, no anything that made it look like there'd been an explosion in the lab. And JARVIS said he came down to the lab from Steve's floor. Plus, when he got back, Steve kept apologizing and saying he didn't mean to hurt him."

"What did you follow him? How do you know what Captain Rogers did?"

"I may have had JARVIS show me the surveillance video, but it was only because I was worried about Bruce. Besides, Bruce had blocked JARVIS' interface with the technology on Steve's floor. Which seemed sort of suspicious. I had to undo his override to access any of the surveillance cameras, and everything during the timeframe the override was in place had been deleted. Tell me that doesn't seem like he was trying to cover something up?"

"Or maybe like he doesn't want you poking around in his business, like you're clearly doing. So you spied on him, and then confronted him about Captain Rogers apologizing about who knows what because you thought it was related to his injuries, and he got mad at you? Sounds about right."

"No, I didn't confront him about that. There wasn't enough evidence. Like you said, Steve could have been apologizing about anything. I confronted him about the rough, one-sided sex."

"Please tell me I heard you wrong . . . . You watched them having sex?!?! What's wrong with you Tony!"

"I didn't mean to. It's just, that after our last battle Steve pulled Bruce down to his floor so insistently that I thought something was going on. . . So I tapped into the security feed and well, Bruce was on his knees and Steve was . . . "

"I don't need to hear the details, Tony!"

"Well, I figured out what they were about to do, so I was going to turn it off, but then I realized that Bruce looked like he was ready to fall over. Hulking out takes a lot out of him. He usually can barely stay awake long enough to eat something, even though he really needs to eat after being all big and green. . . At any rate, it was clear he wasn't up for it. He was shaking with the effort to stay on his knees, but Steve didn't seem to notice. He just kept going. And he was really rough with him. Bruce kept making these horrible distressed noises and Steve didn't even slow down."

"Thank you for that disturbing image. Okay, so you talked to Dr. Banner, and he was understandably upset that you'd been watching them have sex, and then what?"

"He told me I misunderstood what I saw. He said he liked it rough, and then he walked out. I just . . . I don't believe him. That doesn't seem like him at all. I think he was covering for Steve."

"But you have no proof of that Tony."

"I know . . But I just know something's wrong. I can't explain it, but I _know_ it. . .but either way I really screwed things up with Bruce. He's really mad at me, and I'm not sure what to do."

"Apologize?"

"Even if I'm not sorry? I would do it again, Rhodey. In a heartbeat. If I thought I could help Bruce, that he might be in danger, I would do that and more."

"Yes, you should still apologize. You violated his privacy. And I would leave out the rest, Tony. It makes you sound like a crazy stalker."

"Thanks."

"I'm serious. I know you've got it bad for Dr. Banner, but he's with someone else, and you've got to come to terms with that. You're probably just seeing things that aren't there; remember he has a big, green, one ton bodyguard to protect him if someone tries to mess with him?

If Hulk doesn't see Captain Rogers as a threat, you're probably just projecting your jealousy. Sorry, Tony, but you need to hear the truth. Dr. Banner can take care of himself, and the sooner you acknowledge that the sooner you can move on. If you don't, I don't think your friendship with him is going to survive, and that would be a shame. He seems like he's good for you, and I know he's the first new friend you've made in a long time. Think about that before you do anything stupid, Tony."

"But, Rhodey . . . "

"No 'buts' Tony. You know I'm right. I'm just trying to look out for you. Don't make this worse."

"Alright, thanks."

"No problem. I'll see you the next time I'm in New York, okay?"

"Yeah, see you then."

Tony ended the call feeling more discouraged than ever. If Rhodey didn't believe him, then how could he expect anyone else to take him seriously? Captain America was an icon; a symbol of justice and integrity, so no one would think he could do any wrong. Still, now that he had actually voiced his thoughts out loud he knew with a certainty that went down to his bones that Steve was hurting Bruce, and he needed to find a way to stop that. He just didn't know how.


	10. Assassination Attempt

Tinkering with engine parts only kept Tony's mind off of his call with Rhodey for so long. After a couple of hours, he was so distracted both by what his friend had said, ("you sound like a crazy stalker"), and the certainty that he had to do something, that he was having trouble working at all. Eventually, he decided that he would make his way up to the common floor for some coffee and a sandwich.

The elevator opened to the living room, where all the other Avengers were gathered around the television, staring intently at the screen.

"What's going on?" he asked as he strolled into the room.

He was met with a duet of "shhh" from the spies, but Thor seemed to ignore them as he turned toward Tony.

"Our brothers-in-arms have saved your president from an attempt on his life," he informed somberly.

"What?!?" Tony asked as he moved to sit next to Natasha on the couch.

There was a woman in a pantsuit addressing the camera from in front of the White House lawn beside a couple dozen other reporters. 

"So it appears that Captain America has once again defended our country, and its principles," she stated matter-of-factly, "After protecting the leader of the free world from the bullets of the would-be assassin, Captain Rogers pursued the assailant and was quickly able to bring him into custody. Local police and the secret service have thanked both Captain Rogers and the Hulk, who carried the president to safety after the shots rang out, for their service to their country. 

One thing is for certain, after . . . ."

"Look!" Clint cried, pointing at the upper corner of the screen.

There was the brief blur of a person running across the lawn into the White House, but to someone who was looking, it was easily identifiable as Bruce, (a very naked Bruce).

"Was that friend-Bruce?" Thor inquired.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing he's not going to like being on national tv naked as a jay bird," Clint chuckled.

"I doubt many people noticed that," Natasha countered.

"He must have just de-hulked. So much for not ruining the suit," Tony added.

"Aye, but though his clothing is tattered, he served his leader with honor. That has more value than a mere garment can," Thor weighed in.

"True, but it was a nice suit," Clint commented. 

"I wouldn't mention it to Bruce. I think he might be less than amused," Natasha chipped in.

"I believe you are correct Miss Romanoff. Captain Rogers just called to say that he and Dr. Banner are on their way home. He also mentioned that they would rather not talk about what happened."

"Not even to toast their glorious victory?" Thor asked in confusion.

"I believe not, Mr. Odinson," JARVIS answered levelly.

"We don't have to talk about it to acknowledge it," Tony said. "How do you all feel about a team lunch?"

No one disagreed, so Tony ordered lunch, and made sure it would be delivered right before Steve and Bruce were projected to arrive. . .and if he ordered from Bruce's favorite Indian restaurant? Well, that was just his first step towards apologizing.

About an hour later, Tony was setting out enough food to feed a small army, (or a few Hulks and a Thor). The others had gaped when they saw just how much food Tony had ordered, but he shrugged it off. He knew it was excessive, but he wasn't sure what Bruce would want, and he wanted to make sure he ate, (unlike last time), and there was plenty of whatever he wanted. (Yes, Tony was aware that probably fell under the "crazy stalker" or "obsessed" category, but he really didn't care).

Shortly after the food had been put out, Steve and Bruce returned. They seemed surprised, but grateful, to find a feast waiting for them, and joined the team in a fairly quiet meal. The silence almost suffocating them as the rest of the team seemed to be stuffing their mouths to avoid asking questions.

As soon as the meal ended, Steve and Bruce were quick to leave. 

"Thanks for the meal, guys. Bruce and I are pretty tired. We'd appreciate some time alone," Steve commented as he towed Bruce toward the elevator.

"Thanks," Bruce commented quietly over his shoulder as the elevator doors shut behind them.

Yesterday, Tony would have run down to his lab and asked JARVIS to show him what exactly the pair was getting up to, given Steve's clear desire to leave. Today, however, with Rhodey's voice mentally scolding him for "violating their privacy" and acting like a "crazy stalker," he decided to just throw himself into rebuilding an engine instead . . .and maybe blowing some things up. Besides, even _if_ something bad was happening, he probably would be locked out, so he wouldn't be able to do anything. Plus, Rhodey was right about one thing. If he wanted Bruce to confide in him, letting him know that he'd been spying wasn't the right place to start. Even if that worm of a captain was taking advantage of the trust given to him to . . . Okay, _definitely_ blowing things up.


	11. What Bruce deserves

Tony returned from taking the suit out to find Bruce in his corner of the lab. The physicist was covered in angry, purple bruises and working quickly to wrap his ribs. One of his eyes was blackened, and every breath he drew seemed to be causing him pain.

"Bruce," Tony said mournfully.

The other scientist startled. He had been very absorbed in what he was doing, and hadn't heard Tony approach him. That in and of itself was a sign that something was wrong, since no one ever got the jump on Bruce. His senses were extremely acute, and his guard was always up.

"Tony . . . I . . ." he started.

"What did he do to you?" Tony whispered as he froze to his spot, unable to tear his eyes away from Bruce's injuries.

His stomach turned as he realized that he had been right. This was his evidence. Bruce's slight frame was covered in fist-sized bruises, and there were only so many people who could hurt him without coming face-to-face with a rage monster.

"It's not what it looks like," Bruce tried to explain.

"Really? Because it looks like he beat you, and I'm far from okay with that," he replied with an edge to his voice.

Bruce flinched, and he immediately regretted his tone. He felt his rage burning white hot in his chest, but it wasn't directed at Bruce. 

"It's nothing I didn't deserve," Bruce whispered brokenly.

"What?!?" Tony half-shouted.

Bruce took a half-step backward and cast his gaze to the ground.

Tony mentally scolded himself, _Focus. You're scaring him. This is Steve's fault, not his. No need to let your anger show. He'll just think you're angry at him . . .no matter how far from the truth that is._

"Bruce, I know you don't think very much of yourself, but you don't deserve this," he said gently.

"I'm a monster. Monsters . . ." Bruce started to explain.

"No! You're not a monster. If anything, _he_ is for doing this to you," Tony interrupted vehemently; he could not listen to Bruce disparage himself like that.

Once again, his harsher tone had the smaller man shrinking in on himself. This wasn't going to be easy.

"The evidence disagrees with you. Erskine's formula. He said it 'made the good better and the bad worse.' I became a rage monster after testing it on myself, so that would point to _me_ being the monster. And Steve? He became the perfect human specimen because of how good he was. Strong, resilient, powerful and just plain perfect. His virtue has been touted as an example, and he's been a role model for decades. 

If he hits someone, it's because they deserve it. It's not his morals or integrity that are lacking when someone gets into it with him. His virtue is not in question. You know that. Everyone does."

"Bruce . . . "

"You know I'm right."

"No. I don't believe that pseudoscience explanation of what the serum does, and even if I did, who you are changes over time. 

You might have been an angry, young man when you were first exposed, but now you're a gentle, patient, and kind man who would do anything to help others. You're a good man. And whoever Steve was, he's not that person anymore, because he's hurting one of the sweetest, most unassuming people on the planet. He might have been virtuous before, but his actions are far from it now.

Bruce, he _shouldn't_ be hurting you."

"Tony, your concern is sweet, but misguided. I'm fine. It's nothing I'm not used to. And it's nothing I don't deserve."

The sad resignation on Bruce's face rendered Tony mute, and by the time he had found his voice, Bruce had left the lab. 

"But you don't deserve it. You deserve someone who loves you. Someone who will take care of you," Tony whispered to the empty lab, his eyes starting to fill with tears.


	12. Slut!

After Bruce left the lab, Tony argued with himself over whether or not he should pull the security footage that would show _how_ Bruce had received his injuries. He could imagine based on what he had seen, but knowing _exactly_ what happened would answer a lot of questions. Plus, as much as he knew that watching would be painful, he felt like maybe he deserved that pain for not being able to intervene earlier and protect Bruce from whatever had happened.

"J, show me the security footage from Steve's floor, starting with when they got back from lunch," he ordered, his voice shaking slightly.

The screen in front of him lit up with the image of Steve tugging Bruce through the door of the apartment. The super soldier shut the door behind them, and then spun around and slapped Bruce across the face.

"Slut!" he accused, his voice ringing out harshly in tandem with the _smack!_ of his hand.

Tony flinched harder than Bruce did on the video. His heart was racing nearly painfully fast in his chest as he watched Bruce slump his shoulders and lift sad eyes at the man who had just hit him.

"What did I do?" he asked sadly.

"Stop playing coy! You know very well what you did!" Steve roared.

Bruce looked down at the floor remorsefully and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"You didn't mean to run naked across the White House lawn while there were dozens of cameras out front?!? How exactly does one do that accidentally, doctor?" Steve sneered.

He punched Bruce in the stomach, and then stepped back and looked at him in contempt as he crumpled to the floor.

"You know you were just trying to get attention. Trying to show off, get people to look at you, like the needy slut that you are," he continued.

"No!" Bruce cried weakly. "I was trying to get inside before they saw me."

Steve stood over him and rained a few blows down on Bruce's head and chest, his eyes flashing with fury.

"Liar! Likely story from a man who preened like a peacock at Clint's attention yesterday," the soldier raged as he landed a few more blows.

The scientist curled in on himself, his arms coming up to try to shield himself from some of the punches, but Steve just pulled them away angrily and continued hitting him.

"Are you sleeping with him?!? Is that why you blushed like a two-cent whore over his smarmy comments?!? 

Or is it Stark?!? Don't think I didn't noticed that he practically bought out your favorite restaurant and had the food waiting for you when you got back," he accused angrily.

"No!" Bruce protested, but his voice faded into a grunt as the wind was knocked out of him by a fist connecting with his chest.

"Maybe it's both. I wouldn't put it past a whore like you. No self-control. Just a monster who betrays anyone who ever loved him. Your mother, Betty, me. Anyone stupid enough to think you're worth anything.

I was blind to it before, but I should have known. I should have known that you would turn on me. You've always let people down. I shouldn't have thought I would be any different. I was a fool to ever trust you," he spat, landing one last blow, and then standing abruptly and walking away.

Bruce stayed on the floor; cowering, sobbing, and apparently in a state of shock. 

Tony reached out toward the screen, as if he could somehow reach Bruce and comfort him. He didn't know what he had imagined, but somehow what he saw seemed worse. Steve had not only hurt Bruce physically, but he had taken his biggest insecurities and used them against him! How could he do that?!? It was wrong! It was so wrong!

Tony waved off the screen as bitter tears formed in his eyes. All he had wanted for Bruce since he had met him was for him to realize that he was a good man. A man who deserved love, happiness, friendship, and other good things in his life. That was the cause he had dedicated himself to, and now some supposed symbol of integrity and justice was telling him the same lies he had heard throughout his life. That he _wasn't_ good enough. That he _didn't_ deserved love or happiness. That he was a monster. Lies! All of them! But Bruce believed them, and that broke Tony's heart. It also made him incredibly angry, and he wasn't about to pull any punches once he got his hands on Steve. This meant war.


	13. No!

As much as Tony wanted to track down Steve and make him wish he had never laid a hand on Bruce, he knew he had to proceed carefully. If he kicked Steve out of the tower, Bruce would probably go with him. If he confronted Steve, it would probably just end in another beating for Bruce. No, first he had to get Bruce away from his abuser, and then he could make sure the soldier got what he deserved.

That first step wouldn't be easy. Bruce was convinced that he deserved everything that was happening to him. Trying to persuade him otherwise was going to be difficult, and the longer he was with Steve, the harder it was going to be.

Tony threw the closest thing at hand, (a coffee mug this time), against the wall in frustration. Its broken shards joined a pile of wrenches, metal scraps and other small objects that had received the same treatment over the last several hours. He knew that his outbursts weren't helping anything, but every time he thought about the way Steve was poisoning Bruce's mind . . . making him think he was worthless . . . . he saw red.

Maybe he just needed an outside perspective? He asked JARVIS to call Rhodey, and cursed as the call went to voicemail.

"Rhodey, it's me. You know how you said I didn't have any evidence? Well, now I do. So, if you don't want me to kill your childhood idol, call me back and help me figure out this mess," Tony said after the beep.

He ended the call and threw a circuit board he had been fiddling with into the ever growing pile next to the wall. What was he going to do?

Three hours, two shattered coffee mugs, a half dozen circuit boards discarded with malice, and no returned calls from Rhodey later, Tony decided he needed to get out of the lab. Maybe a change of environment, or a walk, or _something_ would help. So he went to the Avenger's common floor to grab some coffee and his coat.

"Finally coming up for air, huh?" Clint asked from his spot on the couch.

He looked expectantly behind Tony and then furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Did you make the doc stay down there, or was he just too wrapped up in the science?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" Tony returned, trying to keep from showing his annoyance.

Why would Bruce be with him? _If only_ Bruce were in the lab. Then he wouldn't be so worried.

"Cap just came by not five minutes ago. I asked him where his beau was, the doc's been kinda scarce since the whole presidential fiasco, and he rolled his eyes and said he was holed up in the lab with you working on some technical thing or another," Clint explained.

A sense of dread overcame Tony. Why was Steve lying, and where was Bruce? He had a pretty good idea, but it wasn't a comforting thought at all. 

Without so much as another word to Clint, he turned on his heel and ran to the elevator.

"JARVIS? Steve's floor! As fast as you can make the elevator move," Tony instructed sharply.

The AI complied, and the car moved notably faster than normal, but it still felt like it took an eternity for the door to open on the small hallway outside of the apartment door.

"Please, please tell me protocol 7-18-5514 isn't in place," he said as he walked out of the elevator.

"It isn't, sir. Shall I override the locks?" JARVIS offered.

"Yes. Thanks, J," he replied as he turned the handle on the front door.

He walked past the threshold, and froze. 

Bruce was laying on the floor in a pile of shattered glass and twisted metal where the coffee table had once been. His blood was pooling on the beige carpet, and even from the door, Tony could hear the effort each breath was costing him as his chest moved up and down in a grotesque motion that looked just as strained.

"No! Bruce! J, call for help!" Tony cried, once his brain processed what was in front of him.

He ran into the room and fell to his knees beside Bruce. He looked over his wounded body helplessly, unsure of what to do or where to start, or if he should do anything at all. He was far from sure that he wouldn't do the wrong thing in his panic, and make things worse. 

There was so much blood, and it seemed to be coming from at least a dozen places, but he couldn't quite identify where. He was also pretty sure that Bruce had been impaled on one of the metal supports of the table.

 _Why didn't he hulk-out?_ he thought as he rested two trembling fingers on Bruce's carotid artery.

"Bruce! You're going to be okay. It'll all be okay," he said desperately as he felt the thready, quick beat under his fingertips. 

Help needed to get there quickly. 

"You'll be fine, Bruce," he rambled as he cupped his cheek gently. "You have to be. You _have_ to be okay. You're the Hulk. This can't beat you."

Bruce remained unresponsive, and something in Tony snapped. He stood and flipped over the couch and then both chairs in the living area.

"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to kill him for doing this to you! I will! And if you don't like that, you'll just have to wake up and stop me, because he's never laying a hand on you again! No matter what I have to do to stop him!" he raged.

A whimper from behind him stopped his destruction of the room, and he turned to look at Bruce. His eyes took in his broken, bleeding, and helpless form, and his ire suddenly faded into intense remorse.

"I'm sorry, Bruce. I'm so sorry I couldn't stop this. I should have been here sooner. I should have . . . . I'm sorry.

I know I failed you. I know I did. But please don't leave me. Fight. Please. Because I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. . . I wouldn't know what to do . . . Because I love you. I love you so, so much. And I should have told you sooner, but I'm telling you now, and I need you to get through this. I _need_ you to live.

Even if it's just so you can tell me that you hate me, and you never want to see me again. I can live with you hating me, but I can't live with losing you. Not like this. You just have to get through this," Tony pleaded as he fell to his knees next to Bruce.

Tony's pleas faded into incoherent sobs, and soon he was being led out of the room by a SHIELD medic. Before long he was following them to the SHIELD medical bay, but the whole thing didn't seem real. It was like he was in a dream, or some sort of alternate world. It was all too hazy and vague to be reality, and yet Tony knew with a sickening certainty that made his chest ache that it was all too real.


	14. Fury

Tony hated hospitals. He also hated uncertainty and waiting. Most of all, he hated that Bruce might not be okay, and he really hated one Steven Grant Rogers for causing all of this.

He sat there worrying and stewing as medical staff rushed in and out of the waiting area. It was a vicious cycle. He would worry about Bruce, and then he would get angry with Steve for hurting Bruce. Then he would remember just how hurt Bruce had been and worry more, and that would make him even angrier, and so on.

The cycle came to an abrupt halt when a broad-shouldered, blond figure rushed into the waiting room. 

Tony froze when he saw Steve. What was _he_ doing there? His anger only grew when he saw the worry and concern on Steve's face. As if this _weren't_ his fault. As if he _**hadn't**_ caused this. As if he hadn't left Bruce broken and battered and _**bleeding to death**_ in a heap on the floor!

"Where's Bruce? Is he okay?" he asked, his voice heavy with concern.

That did it! Tony crossed the room, and punched Steve across the face.

"What was that for!?!" the soldier cried in surprise.

"You have some nerve showing up here!" Tony spat.

"I'm here because I was told Bruce was rushed to medical. I was worried. Is he okay?" Steve returned, looking back at Tony with seemingly sincere blue eyes.

"Is he okay!?! Sure, you're the dutiful boyfriend, right? It's not like you waited two hours to make an appearance, or anything," Tony mocked.

"I was in the gym! I didn't know he was hurt! I came as soon as I heard!" Steve defended.

"Right, right. Didn't know he was hurt. Isn't like _you_ were the one who hurt him or anything . . . . Oh, wait . . .YOU WERE!" Tony yelled, unleashing a right hook on Steve's jaw.

The captain reeled back, and when his eyes met Tony's again they were as cold as ice, and filled with fury. He looked like he was on the verge of charging the smaller man, but he was held back by . . .well . . . Fury.

"Stop this nonsense now!" the director ordered.

"He started it, sir," Cap stated defensively.

"He shouldn't be here, Nick! He's the reason Bruce is here!" Tony countered.

"I'm the reason he's here!?! More like you are! Don't think I didn't notice the way my living room was destroyed! Did I do that too?!?" Steve shot back.

"I might have overturned some furniture, but I didn't hurt Bruce! I wouldn't! Unlike a certain super soldier I know!" the billionaire growled, trying fruitlessly to get at the other man around Fury.

"Why should we believe you?!? You've clearly been carrying a torch for Bruce. Maybe you told him, and he rejected you. Then you tore apart the room and he got caught in the crossfire. Seems like the most likely situation from what I can see," he challenged.

"Never! I overturned the furniture because I was so angry that _**YOU**_ just left him bleeding on the floor! Do you even care about him at all?!? How could you leave him there?!?" Tony returned, once again struggling to try to attack the soldier.

"I didn't do anything of the sort!" Steve shouted.

"LIAR!" Tony roared. "You did! And 'don't think I don't know' that you've hurt him before! The bruises?!? The name-calling after the incident on the White House lawn?!? Calling him a monster?!? You're a good-for-nothing abuser, and Bruce deserves _so_ much better than you!"

"What?!? Like you?!?" he mocked.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Fury ordered.

He glared at the two men until they grudgingly backed down. He waited until both of them seemed unlikely to try to charge at the other, and then spoke again.

"Stark, you are banned from medical until further notice."

"What?!? I . . ."

"The Captain brings up a good point. You yourself admit to destroying the living room, and you were the last person seen with Dr. Banner," Fury reasoned.

"But I . . ."

"No 'but's. You can leave on your own, or you can be escorted out."

Tony hung his head and left the room. He couldn't believe it. Even Fury fell for Steve's act! Why couldn't anyone else see what was happening?


	15. Rhodey II

Tony left SHIELD Headquarters altogether after he left the medical bay. He had no other reason to want to be in their creepy, super spy building. 

He still couldn't believe he had been kicked out. Wasn't he the one who had called them for help in the first place? Hadn't he sat quietly, not causing trouble, (no small feat for him in a shady, quasi-government agency building), for two hours waiting to hear from their doctors what was happening with Bruce? Shouldn't that have been enough to show his concern for Bruce? Couldn't they see how much he cared? That he would be incapable of hurting the other scientist?

Apparently, all of that meant nothing when Captain America claimed you did something wrong. It never even seemed to occur to the director that Steve might actually be the one who was lying. Nooooo, he was all virtue, justice and freedom, and Tony couldn't compare to that level of purity.

Worst of all, Steve was still there. He was in the waiting room, and _he_ would get to know if Bruce was okay, even though he was the one who hurt him in the first place! Furthermore, once Bruce was cleared for visitors, Steve would be right there. He would be able to be all alone with him, without Tony or anyone else to intervene if he should try to hurt him again. It was maddening!

Tony was trying to decide if he should cry, scream, charge back into the med bay and demand to stay, or hack into SHIELD's computer system and make their lives miserable, (changing the default language on all computers to Klingon, Grumpy Cat videos on repeat, and playing "The Song that Never Ends" over the loudspeaker were just some of what he had in store for them), when Rhodey returned his call.

"Tony, please tell me you didn't do something stupid."

"Aren't you the one who's always yelling at me for not saying hello first? And define 'stupid.'"

There was a heavy sigh on the other side of the line.

"What did you do?"

"Well, I punched Steve in the face a few times, but he deserved it! He left him bleeding out on the floor! Just _left him_ there! Like he was nothing! Who does that?!?

Then he had the nerve to act like he cared?!? He played the part of the doting, concerned boyfriend?!? He couldn't have been more phony since _**HE**_ was the one who put him in the med bay in the first place . . . And then he said that I did it?!? 

And Fury believed him! 

Now I'm banned and he's going to be all alone with him, and what if he hurts him again?!? No one will be there to stop him!"

"You punched Captain America?!!"

"Like I said, he deserved it! After what he did? He actually deserved worse!"

"What happened? You said he left him bleeding?"

"He pushed Bruce into a glass coffee table, and then he just left him there! He was cut in at least a dozen places and bleeding all over the carpet, but Steve just left him! He didn't even acknowledge he was hurt! He told Clint he was in the lab! 

If I hadn't gone up to the apartment . . . . He didn't Hulk-out, Rhodey. He was going into shock, but he didn't hulk-out. He could have . . . ."

"It'll be okay, Tony. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Not like I would know . . . I'm banned."

"Banned?"

"Fury intervened after I punched Steve. I told him what Steve did, and Steve said I was the one who hurt Bruce. He claimed that because I overturned the couch in his apartment, I was violent, and I attacked Bruce . . . And old one-eye thought the 'good captain' was telling the truth and he kicked me out of the med bay! He actually bought Steve's story! Can you believe it?!?"

"Well . . . ."

"Apparently you can."

"Tony, you are the one who punched someone. And if you turned over some furniture, well, you look like the one with anger issues . . . .so I could understand why he might think . . . . "

"I didn't hurt Bruce!"

"Look, Tony, I know you didn't. But you have to see how this looks. You had two violent outbursts that Director Fury knows about, and Captain Rogers, well, he's been considered a moral role model for decades."

"That doesn't change the fact that he's been beating Bruce. Or that he forced him to have sex, because no matter what Bruce said, that was not consensual. Or that he's been calling him a slut and a monster, and using all his darkest fears and biggest regrets against him.

Bruce believes all his lies! He thinks he deserves what Steve is doing to him! That he deserves to be punished, so what Steve's doing to him is okay! 

I can't, Rhodey! I can't stand back and let it happen! I can't let it continue! I already let it continue too long, and I almost lost him! I could still lose him!

Rhodey, what if I lose him?!? What if there was too much damage?!? Or what if he lives, but then Steve is there with no one to stop him, so he finishes him off so that he can't tell anyone what really happened?!? What if he's in danger right now, and I'm stuck out here because I couldn't control my temper?!?

I failed him . . ."

"Tony, calm down."

"But . . . ."

"You won't do yourself or Dr. Banner any good when you're this worked up.

Now, when you called me earlier, you said you had evidence. Do you still have it?"

"Yeah, there's video footage."

"Well, then I should think the next step should be easy for you."

"What's that?"

"Get your proof out there. Make sure Director Fury, and the Avengers, and anyone else who needs to see it know exactly what Captain Rogers is doing. 

Isn't hacking systems what you _do_? Don't tell me you haven't hacked SHIELD at least a dozen times already."

"Rhodey, you're a genius!"

"It's nothing you wouldn't have thought of if you were thinking more clearly. 

You really care about this Dr. Banner, huh? This isn't just some fantasy or crush. . .you love him, don't you?"

There was silence for a few moments. Then, when Tony spoke again his voice was barely audible.

"Yes."

"Tony, you have to let him know."

"Later. After he's safe. . . Thanks again, Rhodey."

With that, he ended the call and headed toward his lab. He had some hacking to do.


	16. Deception

Hacking into SHIELD's system and sending the video to Fury's, Hill's, Barton's and Romanoff's phones to play on repeat took all of about five minutes for Tony. Still, even though he knew the truth was out now, he still didn't feel any calmer. Every second he was away from Bruce was another second that Steve might be with him alone, and that was dangerous. Especially now that he knew that Tony knew what was happening.

He had barely finished his hacking, when a pair of SHIELD agents walked into his lab.

"We're taking you into custody for the murder of Dr. Bruce Banner," one of them said as they roughly grabbed onto him.

"Murder?!? Wait . . . Bruce. . . No! No! No! This is a mistake! You're wrong . . . . Bruce can't be . . . ." Tony cried, breaking their grip on him as he fell to the floor and curled in on himself.

They grabbed his arms once more, hauled him up, and then dragged him between them to a nondescript, black SUV they had waiting in front of the tower. Tony made no attempt to fight them, but he didn't help them either. He hardly moved at all, minus the wracking sobs that shuddered their way through his body. 

"Can I see him? I know you're arresting me, or whatever, but could I at least say good-bye?" he pleaded when he found his voice, though even then his words were forced out on hiccuped gasps.

The agents looked at each other, and then one of them turned to face him.

"We'll leave that up to the director," he said.

The drive to headquarters was painfully long, and once they arrived, Tony was dragged by the men in suits once again. His own legs were useless to carry him, and the agents would have pulled him along anyway, so it was just as well.

"Stark," Fury said coldly once they came to a stop in front of him.

Tony didn't say anything in return. He had no quips or smart comments. Not now. All he could think about or care about was Bruce. Was seeing Bruce one last time. Was coming to terms with it being the last time he would see him.

"He asked if he could see Dr. Banner to say his good-byes," one of the agents reported.

Director Fury's sharp eye took in Tony's appearance. His inability to stand on his own. The downward slump of his shoulders and head that spoke of his resignation. The streams of tears that he was making no attempt to hide as they rolled down his face.

He considered what was in front of him, and nodded. Then he gestured for them to follow him. He led them into the medical wing and then down a series of hallways. Tony felt like he was in a daze, but gratefully allowed himself to be led while he tried to walk, (though he largely failed). At least they were giving him this. At least he could say good-bye; even if he was far from ready to say it.

Fury disappeared through a doorway on one side of the hall, and Tony and his escorts followed into a small room. In the room, Bruce lay across a hospital bed. He was still . . .but . . .his chest was rising and falling slightly . . .he was alive!

"Bruce!" he called, hope suddenly giving him the strength to break free from the agents and rush to his side.

He reached out gently and ran the back of a hand down Bruce's cheek. Then, he cautiously embraced the other man, careful not to move him too much for fear of hurting him, but needing to feel him in his arms. Finally, he placed an ear lightly on the center of Bruce's chest, (careful not to rest any of the weight of his head against him), and heard the beautiful, pounding, undeniable proof that it was not yet time for good-byes.

A new wave of tears began; this time from relief. They slid down his face and dropped down onto Bruce, until he stood once more, and looked over at Fury.

"You bastard!" he spat. "You . . . I thought . . . They said . . . "

His words died incoherently on his lips, and the director sighed.

"I needed to know you were telling the truth. Though I hate to admit it, if you fabricated a video, we probably wouldn't be able to tell that it was fake. I needed to make sure that you weren't just trying to cover your tracks."

"Wait, so this was all some test to see how I would respond?!? You needed to what? . . .make sure I wasn't relieved Bruce was dead because then he couldn't rat me out if I was the one who hurt him?!!" Tony asked incredulously.

"More or less," Fury agreed.

"I'm glad you have so much faith in me," he shot back bitterly.

"For the record, the other Avengers vouched for you. They said you loved Dr. Banner too much to ever hurt him, or fake the video, but I needed to see for myself. 

Now that I have, I agree."

"Thanks," he shot back sarcastically, but there was no bite to it; he was far too relieved to focus much energy on Fury.

He sunk into a chair beside Bruce's bed, turning all of his attention onto the man he loved. He reached out to take one of Bruce's hands in his own, and then he briefly turned back toward Fury, his eyes flashing defiantly.

"Banned or not, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here until Bruce wakes up, and I'd like to see you try to move me," he challenged.

The spy raised his hands in a gesture that was one of the most menacing symbols of surrender Tony had ever seen, and said, "No arguments from me."

The billionaire nodded his satisfaction with the response and then added, "And if Steve goes anywhere near him . . ."

"It's taken care of," Fury said with an air of finality to his reassurance.

"Good," he muttered, turning his full attention back to Bruce.


	17. I'm not sleeping

True to his word, Tony had stayed faithfully by Bruce's side for the past ten hours, holding his hand tightly in his own like he couldn't bear to break contact. He hadn't slept, and had rarely taken his eyes off of the other man, as if he thought if he faltered in his vigilance for even a second the worst would happen.

Over that time, Natasha, Clint and Thor had taken turns sitting with him, but he hardly noticed their presence. Any attempts to start conversation on their part received short one or two word responses, if Tony responded to them at all. He seemed to be completely in his own world, unaware of anything other than Bruce, and that concerned them. He also seemed to be getting more and more tired as time went on, so they had decided to propose that he leave long enough to get some sleep.

"You need to sleep, Stark," Natasha said. "Why don't you head back to the Tower and lay down for a few hours? We'll stay with him, and we'll let you know if anything changes."

"I'm fine, and I'm not going anywhere," Tony answered, not even moving his head to look at her as he spoke.

"You look like you're about to fall over," Clint scoffed. 

"Your concern for friend Banner is noble, but I fear you will not be well enough to be of service to him when he awakes if you do not allow yourself a respite," Thor tried to reason.

"I can't leave him!" Tony insisted vehemently. 

"You do know he's not going to die if you leave his side for a minute, right? I think he'll survive a few hours without you staring at him," the archer said bluntly.

The billionaire briefly leveled him with a withering stare, and Natasha smacked him. Clint let out a soft 'ow!' and rubbed the back of his head.

"What Clint was trying to say is, you don't need to worry. We'll take care of him," Natasha stated gently, her eyes dangerously glinting at Clint in a sharp contrast to her sweet tone as she spoke.

"I can't just leave and not worry. Not after everything that happened. I need to _know_ he's okay, or . . . I would . .well . . I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway," Tony admitted.

Thor nodded and took a seat by Tony as he gestured for the other two to leave, but Tony was only half-aware of their leaving. He had turned his laser-focus back to Bruce, even as Thor began to speak to him. 

The Asgardian seemed to be telling him a story, or perhaps reciting a poem, since his voice rose and fell melodically, but never seemed to stop long enough for a response. Just as well, Tony wasn't in the mood to listen, so he just let the sound fade to the background. In a strange way it was oddly comforting, and helped him relax a little for the first time in quite a while.


	18. It's a nightmare

"Wake up, Stark!" a voice hissed in Tony's ear.

He startled to awareness, and turned toward the voice. His heart skipped a couple of beats as he realized that Steve was sitting next to him, glaring at him angrily. So much for Fury taking care of it.

Scrambling to his feet now that he was aware of the situation, he moved quickly to stand between the soldier and Bruce's prone form.

"What do you want?" he questioned sharply. 

"I want you to stay away from my boyfriend," Steve growled.

"Not gonna happen. _You're_ the one who's going to stay away from Bruce, because I'm not going to let you hurt him anymore," Tony returned defiantly.

"What about what _Bruce_ wants? What makes you so sure he _wants_ me to stay away? Do you plan on forcibly keeping us apart, regardless of Bruce's opinion on the matter?" the soldier challenged.

"I plan to protect him. No matter what that means."

"So you're just going to ignore what he wants, because you think you know what he needs better than he does?"

"What makes you so sure he wants you?"

"What make you do sure he wants _you_?

I mean, that's what this is really about, isn't it? You have a thing for Bruce, and you're hoping that by convincing him that he deserves better than me, that he'll run into your arms. 

That's what you want isn't it? But do you really think he could ever be interested in you?"

"Maybe not, but he _does_ deserve better than you. He deserves someone who doesn't beat him or belittle him. _That's_ what this is really about. It's about making sure Bruce isn't being mistreated. 

Whether he's with me, or someone else, or no one at all doesn't matter. What matters is that he's safe and cared for." 

"Trust me when I tell you that he's not going to be with anyone else."

"Trust _me_ when I tell you he not going to be with you!

You should be in jail for what you did to him! You almost killed him!"

"You're right; almost. Something I plan to remedy this time."

Steve shot to his feet and pushed Tony roughly to the floor. Then he walked to Bruce's side, even as the billionaire grabbed at his legs to try and stop him.

"No! Leave him alone! No!" Tony cried desperately from the ground as he was kicked away, only to reach out and grab onto the soldier again.

Still, it was no use. Steve was barely slowed down by Tony's actions, and with a heavy feeling of dread settling in his chest, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop him. Bruce was going to die . . . . 

"NO!" Tony screamed as he woke with a start.

He involuntarily brought a hand to his chest, as if would somehow slow the wild racing of his heart or even his ragged, panting breaths. 

"Are you alright?" a concerned voice asked.

He turned toward the voice and saw Clint looking at him with worried, gray eyes. 

He let out a relieved sigh as he realized that Clint was beside him, and Steve was nowhere in sight. It had all been a dream. He didn't need to worry. Bruce was fine.

Seeking to confirm his hypothesis, he turned towards Bruce's bed . . .and found that it was empty.

"Where's Bruce?" he asked, his heartrate starting to pick up again.

"The docs came by about fifteen minutes ago and took him for some tests. They're worried because he hasn't woke up yet. They want to make sure they didn't miss anything," Clint informed.

Tony nodded. He supposed that made sense, but there was something ominous about the way Clint had said it.

The archer hesitated and added, "They said there was no reason he shouldn't be awake, so we should prepare ourselves for the worst."

Tony stared back at him wide-eyed, fervently wishing that this was just another nightmare.


	19. Justified

_Prepare yourself for the worst._

The words tumbled around in Tony's mind on repeat like a broken record. He was pretty sure it was impossible to prepare for what they were suggesting might happen. How could someone be ready to lose the one person that was their whole world? 

He paced the floor anxiously. They had to come back with good news. They just _had to_. He'd already thought he lost Bruce once earlier that day, (or was it yesterday?), and he was not ready to feel the soul-crushing emptiness he had felt again so soon afterward, (or ever really).

Desperate and angry, he wandered to SHIELD's holding cells, (surely that was where they were keeping Steve if Fury had 'handled it'?). He wasn't quite sure what he hoped to accomplish by seeing the super soldier, but the longer he waited for Bruce and the doctors to return, the stronger the compulsion to see Steve became. 

A few security overrides, and Tony was standing in front of a barred cell; staring at the man who was responsible for this whole mess.

"What do you want?" Steve huffed when he noticed the billionaire's presence.

"I admired you. I wanted to be just like you when I was a kid. My dad was always talking about how you were a _real_ man. 'Strength, integrity and honor,' he'd say, 'that, my boy, is what makes a good man.'

He would go on and on about it, and how lucky he was to have known you. 

I don't understand how that man could have done the things you did. How could you have treated Bruce the way you did, and still be the man my father raved about?" Tony blurted, unsure exactly where the words had come from.

"Am I supposed to feel bad because I disappointed you? Really, Stark?

I woke up after doing 'the noble thing' and everyone I cared about was dead or dying. Everything I knew was taken away from me, and yet I was just supposed to carry on as if nothing had happened!

They thawed me out, and then they treated me like I was a thing. Sure, they all cooed over how brave and noble I was. So virtuous. A real American hero. 

But they acted like I was a relic. Not a person, but an icon, that should be locked up in a SHIELD facility like an exhibit in a museum. A reminder of the way things were that just might be useful again someday.

Then, finally, I met a man who I thought would understand. A man who knew what it was like to have everything taken from him. I thought maybe the two of us could make something together. Maybe someone would see me as a person again, and just maybe after having everything taken from me, I could have something that was mine again. 

But then _you_ came along and kept trying to take him from me. You, with your fancy labs and lavish gifts and incessant flirting. It wasn't enough to have his friendship, you needed to take all of his time, all of his attention. He spent most of his time down in the lab with _you_ and I got the scraps. You were blatantly trying to steal him right out from under me, and he pretended ignorance.

He's a genius, how could he pretend not to notice the way you looked at him? How could he say he didn't think you were flirting!?! He was lying! There was no chance he didn't notice, and if I got upset over his lies, can you blame me? The only reason for him to lie was to hide that he was seeing you behind my back, and I think I'm justified being angry over that! I think I was justified in pointing out what his actions made him! And I don't think that it was unfair or wrong to punish him for his betrayal!" Steve returned bitterly.

"He's not waking up. The doctors said to 'prepare for the worst.' He might die. Is that justified?!?" Tony shot back.

"What are you talking about?" the soldier asked contemptuously.

"Bruce! You know, the man that you claimed to love, but beat and belittled and mistreated?!? The one who never cheated on you, and if you knew him _at all_ you would _know_ that he _never_ would, but you still felt needed to be punished so you impaled him on a coffee table and left him to die?!? 

He's probably never going to wake up again, and that's on you! So tell me, did he deserve that?!? Do you really think he deserves to die for some imagined crimes he committed against you?!?" Tony exploded, his voice breaking multiple times as he spoke, and his body shaking as all of his pent-up emotions erupted to the surface.

"Bruce is still alive? I thought he died yesterday," Steve stated flatly.

That caught Tony off guard, and he was rendered speechless for a moment as the pieces fell into place. Of course, Fury hadn't just deceived him, he had probably done the exact same thing with Steve; only apparently he hadn't informed him of the truth after his charade.

Now that everything had come together, he was furious. Steve thought Bruce was dead, and he still had the nerve to try and explain away his actions by claiming that Bruce had cheated! 

"I hope you rot in here, Rogers! You're the one who's a monster, and you deserve to pay for your crimes! _That_ would be justified!" Tony raged.

He was tempted to try to attack Steve through bars, but he was stopped by his phone buzzing in his back pocket.

_**Incoming text from Legolas:**_

**_Where r u? The docs r back. Do u want to hear what they have to say?_**

Turning his back to Steve, and taking a breath to center himself, he left the holding area as he responded to the text.

_**On my way.** _


	20. The will to live

The SHIELD doctors were standing in front of the rest of the team when Tony entered the room. He slipped in to stand behind the chair Natasha was seated in as quickly as he could, (they appeared to have been waiting for him). The doctors acknowledged him with a nod of their heads, and then one of them opened her mouth to speak.

"Medically, there is no reason that Dr. Banner shouldn't be waking up. His wounds are healing well, he's showing no sign of underlying illness, and all of his vital organs appear to be working properly. Other than his high level of gamma radiation, and resultant raised body temperature, everything about him is normal," she said.

"But," her colleague continued. "For some reason he is still unresponsive. While that's not entirely unusually for a few hours after surgery, especially when severe trauma is involved, it is concerning that it's been over twelve hours and he is not showing any signs of awakening. Especially since his injuries appear to be healing at an accelerated rate, and that would lead us to believe he would awaken sooner than projected rather than later."

"Given the results of our tests, it seems most likely that the reason Dr. Banner isn't regaining consciousness is because he doesn't wish to," the first doctor concluded.

"Wait, are you saying . . ." Tony started, but found he was unable to continue.

"He's lost the will to live," the second doctor finished for him.

"We can't be sure," the first cautioned quickly. "And we'll continue to monitor him closely, of course, but that does seem to be the most likely cause."

"We're very sorry," the second stated apologetically as the pair left.

Tony felt like he had been struck. His head was reeling, and he must have staggered, because Thor quickly grabbed onto his elbow to steady him, and Clint hurried to vacant his chair and help guide Tony into it.

"Are you alright, Stark?" Natasha asked gently.

He started to nod, but then thought better of it and shook his head slightly.

"'Lost the will to live?'" he questioned numbly. 

It just didn't make sense. Bruce had survived what should have been fatal gamma radiation exposure, torture at the hands of the US Army, falling 30,000 feet (on multiple occasions), and at least one suicide attempt. He was a survivor, a fighter, whether he wanted to be or not. How could he just be giving up now?

He reached out to take Bruce's hand, gently bringing it to his lips and kissing the back of it before he intertwined their hands and settled them on the edge of the bed. He did it all without really thinking, only realizing that he had kissed the other man when he saw that the others were trying not to stare at him. He hadn't meant to be so openly affectionate, but then again, if his time with Bruce really was limited, he wasn't going to hold back. Especially not when part of him naively hoped that his actions might somehow show Bruce that he really did have a reason to live.

"I just can't believe that he just 'lost the will to live,'" Tony stated as he turned to look back at the others. "Not Bruce."

"If that worked, I would have been dead years ago," a faint, familiar voice said.

"Bruce!" he cried, relief coursing through him.

He launched himself at the other man to gather him up in an enthusiastic hug, and only realized his error when a pained groan escaped the man wrapped up in his arms.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly, as he realized that he had been far too rough.

"It's alright. I think I'll survive," Bruce answered with one of his half-smiles.

The statement was meant as a joke, but it bothered Tony. Bruce had only been awake a couple of minutes, and in that time he'd already made two dark, flippant comments about himself. Jokes or not, they spoke to just how little he thought of himself, and that grated against Tony's nerves. He had been a mess when he thought he had lost Bruce, so hearing him refer to his life like it was nothing but a punchline really hurt.

"I can't believe you're all here," he changed the subject, apparently noting Tony's discomfort.

"Of course we are. We're family, doc," Clint stated proudly.

Bruce nodded uncertainly, but then seemed to notice something and stilled.

"Where's Steve?" he asked suddenly.

The other four exchanged glances. Should they tell him, or was it too soon? They didn't want to upset him.

"Tony, please tell me you didn't kill him," Bruce blurted, his voice filled with concern.

"What?!?" Tony exclaimed in surprise.

Why would Bruce think that? And why would he specifically ask him?

 _"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to kill him for doing this to you! I will! And if you don't like that, you'll just have to wake up and stop me, because he's never laying a hand on you again! No matter what I have to do to stop him!"_

Tony's desperate words rang in his ears as their remembered presence filled the air around him. Wait, did Bruce hear that? Had he heard everything that Tony had said to him? He didn't think Bruce had been aware of what he was saying, but maybe he was wrong.

"I don't know where that came from," Bruce apologized. "I guess you guys were just making me nervous with your meaningful glances, and I figured something pretty bad must have happened. I . . . I shouldn't have said that."

"He's in SHIELD custody," Natasha stated matter-of-factly, ignoring the tension in the room.

"Why?" he asked bluntly.

"Why?!? He tried to kill you Bruce!" Tony responded incredulously.

"He pushed me, but I don't think he was trying to kill me," the physicist said contemplatively.

"Then why didn't he call for help when he realized how badly you were hurt, doc?" Clint asked.

Tony vigorously nodded his agreement with the question. The evidence was all right there, why was Bruce trying to defend Steve?

"Because he didn't _know_ how badly I was hurt. He pushed me, and then turned to leave before I even hit the ground. He didn't know how badly I landed. Or that I couldn't Hulk-out," Bruce informed levelly.

He sounded like he was talking about the weather, not about someone attacking him. How could he be so calm?

"Wait. Why couldn't you hulk-out?" Natasha inquired.

"Because I'd taken a hulk-suppressant right before he came in. The Other Guy was a little restless, and I was afraid I was going to lose control, so I thought it might help," he answered honestly.

He what?!? Tony wanted to scream. Why?!? Why?!? Why would he do that?!? Why would he suppress Hulk?!? Why would he put himself in danger like that?!? It was infuriating.

If Tony was honest, he knew the answer to his own questions. Bruce would do anything to keep other people safe. Even if there was only the slightest chance he would be a danger to someone else, he would put himself in harms way to avoid it. Even if the person he was protecting more than deserved to be smashed for their actions. 

"Regardless of the circumstances, and whatever his intentions were, our former captain dishonored himself and his team when he knowingly harmed you," Thor declared authoritatively. "Captivity is a fitting punishment for his crime."

No one felt the need to argue with Thor's regal declaration, so they all fell silent. For awhile they just stared at each other, but then with a motion from Natasha, she, Clint and Thor left so that Bruce and Tony could be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a slightly longer chapter. I hope that works for now, since I may not update again until after Christmas. Oh . . And Merry Christmas to you all!


	21. I love you!

Tony watched as Bruce shifted uncomfortably after the others left. The physicist looked down at their coupled hands, (Tony had unknowingly reattached his hand to Bruce's at some point after hugging him), and then looked away. He was clearly avoiding Tony's eye, and for a second time, the billionaire wondered if he had heard all of his desperate confessions from when he had found him injured.

"You told everyone," Bruce stated quietly.

It didn't really sound like an accusation, more a statement of fact, but Tony still felt slightly defensive. 

"What makes you so sure?" he asked carefully, (part of of him hated that he didn't just admit that he had, but he felt strangely taken aback by Bruce's statement).

"You're the only one who knew. None of the others did, and even after my fall none of them would have assumed that Steve caused it. You had to have told them."

"Yes, I did . . . .I know you probably wouldn't have wanted me to tell them, but Bruce, he left you to bleed to death. What was I supposed to do?!?" 

His voice was a little frantic by the end, but he didn't care. He didn't want Bruce to be mad at him, but even if he had known ahead of time that he would be furious with him, he still would have done the same thing. Protecting Bruce was worth incurring his wrath.

"It wasn't your information to tell! What happened between me and my boyfriend is _our_ business and no one else's! You had no right!"

"He was hurting you! He almost killed you! Bruce, that's a crime! I couldn't say nothing! Not after what he did to you! Not after I found you gasping for breath and bleeding out! 

He deserves to be punished for that! I'm not sorry I said something! Not if it keeps you safe from him!"

"What about everyone else?!? The people who rely on Captain America to keep them safe?!? The Avengers are down a member, their _leader_ , and that's supposed to be okay because it protects me?!? Even if it makes everyone else _less_ safe?!? 

I'm not worth that much! Protecting the planet should take far higher priority than protecting me! Besides, I was fine!"

"You were fine?!? Bruce, not an hour ago they were telling us that you would probably never wake up again! That's not fine!"

"Why do you care so much?!?"

"Why do I care so much?!? Because I love you! Truly, deeply, head-over-heels, scares-the-hell-out-of-me-because-I've-never-felt-this-way-about-another-person-in-my-entire-life, love you!"

"What?!?"

Bruce looked at him with fear in his eyes, and suddenly he wished he hadn't just blurted out his feelings like that. He could have waited. He didn't have to overwhelm him with this now, but there was no taking back what he said, so he took a few breaths to calm himself and spoke again with his voice soft and gentle this time.

"I love you. I realize this probably wasn't the best way to tell you, but I do. . . And it was killing me, watching him treat you like you were nothing; watching him hurt you. It took every ounce of my self-control not to punch him in the face every time I saw him. Or kick him out of the Tower and make sure he never got anywhere near you again . . .because Bruce, the way he treated you, it was wrong. It wasn't fine, or okay, or _deserved_. . ."

Tony spit out the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth, and noticed that Bruce was shaking his head sadly.

"You can't love me. No one can. Even the most virtuous man on the planet thought I was unlovable. 

Believe me, you might think you love me now, but sooner or later you'll realize I'm not worth it. Everyone does, if they don't end up hurt or killed before they can get away from me.

I'm a monster. I destroy people. I don't deserve love," he stated matter-of-factly.

Tony bristled. Part of him wanted to hug Bruce and not let him go until he stopped hating himself, and another part of him wanted to just shake some sense into him. He couldn't believe what he had just heard! Well, actually he could, but he wished he couldn't, it just hurt too much.

"Bruce, you're wrong. You're not a monster. And you _do_ deserve love. You deserve someone who cares enough to put you first. Someone who respects you, and treats you like the amazing man that you are. Someone who will protect you, fight for you, and take care of you. That's the person I want to be. I want to be the man you deserve, because I _can_ love you, and I _**do**_. . . .and I will never think you're not worth it. 

Everything I own is a pittance compared to you. You're priceless, precious, invaluable, and worth so much more than I could ever express, and I just wish you could see it. I wish I could explain it to you, or you could see yourself the way I see you, because listening to you devalue yourself, it's breaking my heart."

Tony let out a sigh as he finished his impromptu speech. His heart pounded slightly harder behind the arc reactor as he realized just how exposed and vulnerable he had made himself. He normally wouldn't be so open, he normally wouldn't venture into feelings like that, but this was _Bruce_ , and he was worth the discomfort. Even if he could reject him, and completely crush him now. 

"Tony . . . I . . . It's just . . . That's a lot to take in. I think I need some time to process. Can you give me some time alone?"

Tony's stomach flipped at the thought of leaving the other man alone. He couldn't shake the long standing feeling he had that anytime that Bruce wasn't in his presence, terrible things could be happening to him. He supposed that was simply paranoia now that Steve was locked up, and Bruce was awake and appeared to be healthy, but he still felt reluctant to leave. Then again, he had sprung quite a bit of information and emotions on him. It seemed fair to give him time to process, and he probably didn't want to work through everything that was just said while he was still under Tony's scrutiny.

Grudgingly, he nodded and silently left the room.


	22. A lack of evidence

Natasha was quick to seize the opportunity when Tony left Bruce's room. She dragged him back to the Tower, forced him to eat a sandwich, and then said she wouldn't allow him to leave until he had a nap.

Tony didn't appreciate being ordered around like that, but Bruce had asked for time, and it would seem like less time if he slept. Besides, he was a little afraid of Natasha, so he was unwilling to disobey her orders no matter how unhappy he was about them.

He awoke about two hours after leaving SHIELD headquarters, and he was eager to make his way back. Things might be awkward now that he had declared his feelings, but he still had no intentions of letting that keep him from Bruce. He wanted nothing more than to stay by his side until he was convinced he was completely healed and safe, regardless of how uncomfortable things might get between the two of them.

He made his way to the SHIELD headquarters building and then made a beeline for Bruce's room in the infirmary. He rushed through the door, eager to see Bruce and hear what he was thinking, (even if he was upset by Tony's declaration, at least he would know where he stood), only to find the room empty. The bed had been stripped, and there was no sign that only two hours earlier Bruce had been occupying the room.

For a moment, Tony thought he went to the wrong room, but a quick check showed that he was in the right place. So where was Bruce?

Trying to keep himself from worrying until he had more information, Tony quickly made his way to the reception area. He met the eye of the woman behind the desk as he approached, and began speaking to her at a rapid clip as soon as he was within hearing distance.

"Bruce Banner? He was admitted yesterday. He was in room 145, but the room is empty and appears to have been cleaned. Where is he?" 

"Bruce Banner," she muttered as she typed at her keyboard. 

Tony fidgeted nervously as she continued her entirely too slow search.

A few more clicks of her mouse and she looked up at him to report, "Mr. Banner checked himself out of the medical ward about an hour and a half ago."

Tony's heart sunk. 

"Did he say where he was going?"

"I wasn't there when it happened, and even if I was, I'm not allowed to divulge that sort of information."

"Alright. Thank you."

Tony charged out of the medical wing trying to think of where Bruce could be and why he would have left so soon when he should be taking time to recover. There had to be a reason, something other than the reason that was playing in his head on repeat and making him want to scream. There was an explanation. There had to be. Bruce didn't freak out and run away . . .did he? Despite Tony's efforts to convince himself otherwise, he knew that was more than likely exactly what had happened.

He ran toward the front door of the building, hoping against hope that if he returned to the Tower he would find Bruce there, when a black cloaked figure stepped in front of him.

"Stark, we have a problem," Fury said omnimously.

"Kinda busy dealing with my own problem right now," Tony said, trying to make his way around the director.

"So you're okay with me releasing Captain Rogers?" he baited.

"What?!?" the billionaire cried, stopping in his tracks to turn and glare at the other man.

"The World Security Council somehow heard I was holding Captain America, and they wanted to know what the charges against him were. They said it would look very bad to hold such a widely known figure, one who many consider a hero, without strong evidence that he had committed a serious crime.

I told them about what he had done to Dr. Banner, and they said that they felt that it was for the greater good that we release him, because 'what he does in his personal relationships is no one else's business.'"

"What?!? They're willing to give him a pass just because he's Captain America? Even though he almost _murdered_ someone?!? But hey, he's a national icon, so he can beat or kill as many of his partners as he wants as long as there's no bad press over it."

"Believe me, Stark, I was just as upset as you are."

"I somehow doubt that," he muttered, earning him a one-eyed glare.

"Anyway, I told them there was video footage of him berating and beating his partner that would likely find its way onto the internet if they tried to release Captain Rogers, but they thought I was bluffing. 

I offered to show them, but when I tried to pull up the video it had disappeared. Do you know anything about that?"

"What? No."

"We were hoping you might have a back-up copy. Or other footage that we could use. Anything that would prove Rogers' guilt."

Tony took out his phone and quickly connected to JARVIS. He tried to access the video he had sent out, but it was gone. Tapping furiously at the screen, he tried to pull up the archive security footage from Steve's floor, but the security drive had been wiped clean. A quick check showed that the same was true of all of the footage from Bruce's floor. Well, that left little question of what had happened. The question was, why?

"It's gone. It's all gone. I can't believe he did that," Tony muttered defeatedly.

"He?" Fury prompted.

"Bruce. No one else could have hacked JARVIS so efficiently. No one else could have retrieved and destroyed the videos from all of the places they were sent to. But why? Why would he do that?"

Fury sighed.

"I guess Banner's letter makes sense in light of these new developments."

"What letter?"

"Dr. Banner sent a written statement to my office claiming that his injuries were caused by a seizure that he had as a side effect of the hulk-suppressing drugs that he took. He wrote that Captain Rogers did not then, nor has he ever, physically assaulted him. He also asked that all charges against the captain be dropped, and that he be released immediately."

"That's a lie! Nick, you know that's a lie!"

"I know. But we no longer have proof of the abuse, and the supposed victim of the crime is claiming that no crime was committed. 

The WSC was pushing for us to drop the matter even before this development. I just don't see how we can hold Captain Rogers any longer under the current circumstances."

Tony swallowed a growl. How could this be happening? 

"What about the security footage from the holding cell? When I went to visit Steve?" 

"No good. He only vaguely talks about being angry at Dr. Banner and being justified in 'punishing' him. It's not specific enough to make our case."

"This can't be happening! He can't be going free!"

"Unfortunately it appears that he is going to go free. I'm very sorry. I wish there was more I could do."

Tony stormed out of SHIELD headquarters thinking that when he got home he was going to shake some sense into Bruce. Why did he have to be so self-destructive! It was maddening, and he planned to let Bruce know just what he thought of his actions. That is, if he was there, which Tony was beginning to doubt more and more with each passing second.


	23. He's gone

When Tony got home he searched the Tower from top to bottom. Then he concluded his search by returning to Bruce's floor. Everything was untouched, and looked like no one had been there for awhile. His ratty bag lay in the bottom of his closet, and not a single piece of clothing was gone. Tony knew that Bruce had essentially moved into Steve's apartment, but nothing had been out of place there either. It appeared like he had left in such a hurry that he didn't bother to take anything with him.

The reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks, and he fell to the floor in Bruce's closet. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he wondered if there was another being on the planet that he had cried for as much as he had cried for Bruce. Probably not, but it only seemed fitting. He would do anything for the other man, and that apparently included becoming an inconsolable heap on the floor.

"Sir, you have an incoming call from Colonel Rhodes," JARVIS informed, right before connecting the call.

"Tony? Are you there?" Rhodey asked uncertainly when there was only noise on the other end of the line.

"He's gone, Rhodey. I was an idiot. I didn't think . . .and now he's gone," Tony sobbed. "I should have never . . .it's all my fault."

"I didn't think he could . . . I'm sorry, Tony. I know you're probably hurting quite a bit right now, but it'll be okay."

"How will it be okay?!? Bruce is _gone_! 

I was so stupid! I came on way too strong, and he bolted! 

I shouldn't have told him I loved him, it was too much too soon."

"Wait, he left? I thought . . . . Never mind, so you told him, huh?"

"Yes, and it was one of the stupidest things that I've ever done. He checked himself out of the medical ward and now he's God knows where. He's probably in the middle of nowhere hiding in a dirty hole in the ground, not taking care of himself like usual."

"Did I just hear Tony Stark criticize someone else for not taking care of themselves? The man who lives on booze and coffee? Who thinks lab safety is a suggestion and _enjoys_ blowing things up?"

"It's different. Besides, Bruce made me leave the lab to eat, and he wouldn't work with me if I didn't follow lab safety protocol."

"I knew he was good for you."

"Yeah, before I sent him running to the remote corners of the earth."

"I'm sorry, Tony. But you had to let him know eventually. You couldn't just keep pining over him forever."

"Actually, I could have . . . and given that Bruce is now back on the run without so much as a spare pair of clothes, I probably should have. At least then he'd have food, shelter, clothing, running water, you know, the small luxuries he would apparently rather deny himself than deal with the awkwardness between us now that I stupidly opened my mouth."

"He'll be okay, Tony. He can take care of himself."

"You can't know that! General Ross is still looking for him. What if he finds him?!? Or what if he gets hurt and he's still too weak to hulk-out? Or what if Steve goes looking for him and convinces him to come back to him and he goes back to being his punching bag?

He could get hurt, or captured, or . . . . I get that I'm a selfish bastard for wanting him to stay when he doesn't want to, and I know he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions, but he was wasting away when I met him. He hadn't had enough to eat in who knows how long, his clothes were barely holding together, and it was clear he had just been surviving from day to day, living in constant fear of capture, and of what would happen the next time Hulk made an appearance. That's no kind of life."

"I understand, but ultimately it's his choice. . .wait, did you say Captain Rogers might go looking for him? I thought for sure he would be locked up. Didn't you show Fury what you had on him?"

"I did, and he was, but the WSC got on Fury's case and told him to release Steve. Apparently Captain America gets a pass on such things. Anyway, Fury wasn't going to listen to them, but then all of the evidence went missing, so he didn't have a choice."

"Went missing?"

"Courtesy of Bruce before he pulled his disappearing act."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he was convinced that what happened to him was no big deal because 'he deserved it,' and that the world needed Captain America so desperately he should go free without punishment. Pretty poor logic if you ask me, but he wouldn't listen. He's so stubborn sometimes! Especially when it comes to insisting that he's not worth anything!"

"Look, Tony, I know you care about him a lot, but he seems pretty damaged. Are you sure this isn't for the best?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, because my best friend would never say something like that, and if he did, he would be told exactly where he could go."

"Tony . . ."

"I'm serious Rhodey. I don't want to hear it.

He saw me, all of me, my insecurities and screwed up past, and he didn't judge me. I'm the man who designed the Hulkbusters, but he didn't hold it against me! He just gave me his trust, he let me in enough to be his friend, and he doesn't do that very easily. 

He cared enough to fuss over whether or not I was eating, or wearing safety goggle, or whatever. . . .and you said it yourself, he makes me a better man! I'm more careful, I'm healthier . . . I haven't had a drink in three months. . . Hell, I haven't had a drink right now, even though all I want to do is grab a bottle of Scotch and drink until I pass out so I don't have to think about any of this or feel any of the messy emotions. . . but I know if I did Bruce would be so disappointed, and I keep seeing those sad eyes he would make when I'd get completely drunk when he first moved in, and I just can't do it!

If he does all of that for me; if he accepts me as the broken screw-up that I am, how can I turn my back on him just because he has some baggage? How can I not try to make his life better when he's done so much for me? 

I can't turn my back on him, and I'm not going to, so, no, it's not better that he left, it's actually pretty fucking terrible and I don't know what to do about it!"

"I'll put my ear to the ground, and see what I can find out. At least that way you'll know if the military is on to him."

"Thank you, Rhodey. You're a good friend. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I get it. I hope things work out for you, Tony. I really do. This guy is a fool if he doesn't realize how much you care about him."

"Thanks. Let me know if you find anything."

They cut the call, and Tony got to his feet. He'd had enough time to feel sorry for himself. He needed to find Bruce.


	24. Fight!

Tony ran to the elevator. He was about to press the button to open the doors when they opened in front of him, and Steve stepped out.

"Stark?!?" he growled as he circled him slowly like a predator.

"Rogers?!? What are you. . ."

His question was cut off when Steve's fist made contact with the middle of his face. He staggered back several feet and clattered to the floor. For a moment he stayed down, hand on his newly broken and bleeding nose, too stunned both by the pain, (and he was no stranger to being punched in the face, it had happened dozens of times, but short of being smashed by Hulk or hit by a train he wasn't sure he could have been hit any harder), and by the thought that this was what Bruce had felt countless times.

In his rage over the last thought he sprung off of the ground, and tackled the super soldier to the floor. With surprise on his side, he got one good punch in, but his advantage didn't last long.

Soon the other man flipped them over and pinned him to the ground. His arms were easily held down at his side despite his struggling, and the blonde leaned in close to his face.

"I should have known you would be here," he snarled dangerously, following up the words with a crippling punch to Tony's ribs that knocked the wind right out of him. "Making a move on Bruce as soon as you thought I was out of the way. You've got some nerve!"

A swift punch to the stomach had the billionaire grunting in pain and trying futilely to roll away.

"You've . . .got . . .some nerve," Tony grunted as he got his breath back. "Coming back here. You're . . .not welcome here."

Steve pulled back again, his fist raised above Tony's chest. Seeing this, he let out an involuntary gasp, raised his hands, and tried to curl in on himself. His heart raced in his chest, knowing what such a powerful blow to the reactor had the potential to do, and closed his eyes as he braced himself for the impact.

The blow never came though. He opened his eyes and saw Natasha pinning Steve to the floor. Clint stood nearby aiming an arrow at the soldier's left eye.

"Are you alright, friend?" Thor asked as he gently hauled Tony back onto his feet.

"Yeah," he said weakly, wincing slightly from the pain the change in position caused him. "Thanks guys."

"No problem," Clint said casually, before turning to scowl at Steve again.

"Now, I believe Tony told you that you're not welcome. Leave, Rogers, and never return to the Tower," Natasha said dangerously, (the 'or else' at the end almost audible, even thought it wasn't vocalized).

She let him up from the ground and moved to stand between him and Tony. Then she watched him pointedly as he got into the elevator.

"Stark, we should probably get you to medical," she stated as soon as it was clear that Steve had left.

"No way. Bruce is out there somewhere, and I have to find him. A few bruises aren't going to stop me," Tony said determinedly.

"Your nose is broken, and there might be serious internal damage with those bruises. Rogers really packs a super-sized punch," Clint argued.

"I'm fine. I've had worse," he dismissed.

The others sighed, but didn't argue any further with him. They knew they wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise, so instead they offered to help with his search. It was decided that Thor would look for Bruce in Brazil, Clint would look in India, Natasha would stay at the Tower in case he returned, (or Steve tried to come back), and Tony would go wherever he wanted because none of them wanted to try to reason with a worried and irrational Tony.

With plans in place, Tony climbed into his Iron Man suit and flew off. He decided he would trust his instincts, and maybe, just maybe, they would lead him to the right place.


	25. Vietnam

His plan to follow his instincts seemed to be failing miserably as he looked for Bruce unsuccessfully in a number of cities and villages in Indonesia. He hadn't heard anything from the others either, so they must be no closer to finding him either.

He was about to made his way to the next Indonesian island, when he suddenly felt an urge to go north. Having nothing better to go on, he flew north, not knowing exactly where he was going. He flew several hours and found himself in a small village in Vietnam. 

Once he was there, he folded up the suit into a briefcase and walked around the village showing people Bruce's picture. This time, instead of staring at him blankly like they had in Indonesia, they nodded and pointed to a small house at the edge of town. Finally feeling hope after two days worth of searching, he made his way to the door of the shack and knocked.

Bruce opened the door quickly, and froze in his tracks when he saw Tony in his doorway.

"What are you doing here?" he asked slowly.

"Bruce, you left without so much as saying good-bye. I needed to see that you were okay," Tony said.

"If _I'm_ okay. Tony, what happened to your face?"

"It's nothing."

"Really? Because you have two black eyes and what looks like a broken nose, so someone must have hit you pretty hard . . . . "

He stopped short as realization dawned on him.

"It was Steve, wasn't it?"

Tony stayed silent.

"It was, wasn't it?" he pressed, soft, brown, concerned eyes staring at Tony steadily.

"Yes," he admitted.

"Tony . . . .did he hit you anywhere else? Did you get checked over afterward? . . .of course you didn't. . . Well, you're going to be now, come inside."

He followed the order, part of him grateful that Bruce cared enough to fuss over him. Another part of him was angry though, because here was more proof that Bruce thought he was worthless. Tony caught a couple little punches from Steve, and Bruce was acting like he was going to break, but when Bruce himself received the same treatment, only worse, he acted like it was nothing.

At Bruce's urging, and despite his own insistence that he was fine, he removed his shirt. Then, in full doctor mode, Bruce carefully looked over the bruises and examined him to determine the full extent of the damage. When he finished, he sighed, his clinical mask slipping from his face.

"You were lucky. Your ribs are severely bruised, but none of them broke, and there doesn't appear to be any damage to any of your organs, but Tony . . . Why? Why would you get into a fight with Steve?"

"Hey, he's the one who just stepped out of the elevator and hit me . . .granted I had hit him earlier when he came to the med bay, but that's beside the point . . . .he had the nerve to come back to the tower and act like nothing had happened! To go straight to your floor and . . . "

"So it was over me. You got in a fight with a super soldier, over me. Tony, that's so screwed up! I'm not worth it! _This_ is why I left! I didn't want anyone else getting hurt over me."

"Bruce, it's only a few bruises."

"Like I said, you got lucky. He just as easily could have ruptured your spleen, bruised your liver; done serious damage, Tony! 

What if he had managed to break your ribs instead of just bruise them? They're what support the weight of the arc reactor in your chest! Or what if he had hit the reactor?!? He would have driven metal straight into your chest, you may not have survived that!"

Bruce's eyes were wild, and he looked panicked, so Tony reached out and gently grabbed both of his hands.

"I'm fine, Bruce. You said so yourself."

"I know, but it so easily could have been worse, and for what? Because he hurt me, and acted like he didn't? To defend my honor? Tony, I don't have any honor to defend. Fighting with Steve over that is a fool's errand!"

"You and your self-loathing bullshit! Okay, I probably shouldn't have punched Capsicle in the med bay, but I was pretty on edge. He came in acting worried after he was the one who hurt you, and I snapped. I snapped because I was afraid I was going to lose you, and I didn't know what to do! Bruce, I love you, and I wouldn't know what to do without you.

Which brings me to why I'm here. Bruce, if this is really what you want, if you want to be here, then I'll leave you alone, because I don't want to stand in your way if this is really what you want. But, if you're here because you think that you need to run away, to protect me, or because things might get awkward between us, please come back. I promise I'll do my best to not make things weird. We'll pretend I never said anything, and we can go back to being friends and lab partners. I would hate to think I drove you away from someplace you actually called home, and a team who cares about you, for any reason.

So, what do you think?"

"Tony . . . I can't. I just can't."

"Because you don't want to, or . . ."

"What I want doesn't matter! Believe me, I know that much! You come in here talking about loving me, and asking what I want, but it doesn't work that way! If I allow myself to want something, it gets taken away; if I allow myself to care about someone, they get hurt! I'm poison, and I refuse to hurt anyone else! 

I need to stay here! I need to be alone, because if I watch one more person I care about . . . .leave! Leave now, Tony! I don't ever want to see you again! Get away from me!"

"Bruce. . ."

"LEAVE!!!"

There was a hint of the Other Guy in his roar, and his eyes flashed green, so Tony knew he had to leave. He sadly trudged out of the house, and then turned around just in time to see the door slammed behind him. 

Calling the Mark V out of suitcase form, he took to the skies, trying to clear his mind by pushing the suit to its speed capacity. Still, it wasn't enough to stop the tears from flowing.


	26. Hulkbusters

Tony was a little more than an hour over the Pacific Ocean, on his way back to the Tower, when JARVIS patched through a call from Rhodey.

"Tony? Are you there?" Rhodey's voice rang through the helmet.

"Yeah," Tony said tersely, keeping his response short so the other man wouldn't know he had been crying.

"I've got news, someone is stock-piling Hulkbuster missiles just north of Hanoi. Who requested the missiles is classified, but I have a pretty good idea who it was."

"Ross."

Tony felt his heart stutter in his chest as he growled the name. Bruce hadn't been far from Hanoi. He had found him.

"Yeah, so there's a pretty good chance Dr. Banner is in Vietnam. And that Ross plans to make a move, and soon."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Tony, don't do anything rash."

"I'm less than two hours away, and I'm not going to stand by while Ross tries to capture Bruce. That man will stop at nothing . . .and if he catches him he'll torture him. You know the vendetta that he has against him."

"I think that's the definition of rash. Going in to take on the army without backup?!? At least call the Avengers . . ."

"I'll call them . . ."

"And wait for them before you do anything . . ."

"But I won't wait for them. Bruce is in danger."

"You're a stubborn ass, you know that? There's nothing I can say to stop you, is there?"

"Nope. Well, not unless the words include 'Ross,' 'dead,' and 'no longer a threat.'"

"Tony, you're not going to kill General Ross are you? You can't do that kind of shit. They're not just going to look the other way while you kill an army general. It doesn't work that way. No matter what your reasoning, or how many loose screws the guy has."

"I can't make any promises, Rhodey. I'll try not to, but I'll do what needs to be done."

"Tony . . ."

"If it bothers you so much you'll just have to put on War Machine and join me. . .now I have to go. I have some Hulkbusters to destroy, and a physicist in distress that I have to rescue."

"Tony . . . ."

He ignored whatever argument that Rhodey was about to give, and cut the call. Then he increased his speed, all of him focused on getting back to Bruce as soon as possible. If he got there quick enough, they could leave and avoid a confrontation altogether.

Unfortunately, he didn't have that kind of luck. By the time he arrived, Ross and his men were already forming a perimeter around the village. They had Hulk on the run, and were trying to lure him to a spot just outside the village where several tanks armed with Hulkbuster missiles were laying in wait.

To Tony's horror, they were succeeding. Hulk was following the bait in a blind rage, and Tony was too far away to draw away his attention. Instead he headed for the trap, hoping he would be able to destroy the missiles with some of his own before they were able to get too close to Hulk.

He dove into the fray right before Hulk arrived, and fired off his shoulder-mounted rockets at the Hulkbusters. He was able to destroy all of them except one, but that last one was launched straight at the larger, green form of the man he loved. If he didn't do something, it was going to hit him full in the chest.

Without really thinking, he flew directly at the missile and grabbed onto it. He redirected its path and led it away from its intended target. When he was sure he was far enough away, he let go and turned to fly the other direction before it detonated, but he had miscalculated and was far too close to the missile when it exploded.

The impact of the blast sent him hurtling through the air. He crashed into dozens of different objects, though he wasn't quite sure what they were. Then when he finally slammed to a halt, he was vaguely aware of intense amounts of pain before his world faded into darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tony? Tony?"

A familiar voice calling his name roused him to consciousness. Though he was far from glad for awareness as it gradually seeped back. The first thing he noticed was an excruciating, all over, pain. Then, he noticed fluorescent lights in a white clinical room. Finally, he felt a slight squeeze on his hand.

He turned his head toward the source of the squeeze and saw Bruce, looking worn and tired, but still completely unharmed.

"What happened?" he asked with a voice as rough as sandpaper.

"You got blown up. The suit protected you from the shrapnel, but you got tossed around quite a bit. The impacted knocked you out, and you suffered a lot of internal bleeding. . . The Other Guy saw what happened, ran over and grabbed you, and then bounded as far away from the army as possible. Then I changed back, patched together the suit's fried comm unit enough to send out a distress signal, and the team, who was already in route to Vietnam, came to get us.

You've been unconscious for two days . . .you gave us quite a scare," Bruce informed.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize. Just get well."

"You're right. I'm not sorry anyway."

Bruce frowned at him, and he shrugged, (even thought the motion caused him an intense stab of pain).

"You're safe. Ross didn't hurt you or capture you. I would do it again if it would have similar results."

"Colonel Rhodes is right; you are a stubborn ass," Bruce commented with a soft shake of his head.

"Rhodey?"

"Yeah, he arrived around the same time as the team. He's been taking shifts at your bedside with the others, only he insisted that as your best friend he should serve two shifts to everyone else's one."

Tony chuckled softly. That sounded like Rhodey.

"Anyway, we got to talking while we were waiting, and he helped me to realize some things."

"Like what?" Tony asked slightly nervously; Rhodey knew all of his secrets, including ones he really didn't want Bruce to know, at least not yet.

"Like the aforementioned fact that you're a stubborn ass, and no matter what I do to try to distance myself from you or protect you, you're still going to pull stunts like you did the other day."

"He's right."

"I know, and to be honest, it terrifies me. I've watched a lot of people I care about suffer on my behalf, and I don't really want to add to that number. That's why I tried to push you away."

"Bruce . . . "

"But he also helped me realize that you're the first real friend I've made in years. I've never been happier than when I'm with you, and to think that I was denying us both happiness because of my fears really saddens me. . . . I'm sorry Tony."

"Wait, does that mean?" he asked, holding his breath in anticipation and daring to hope.

"I'm coming home. You were right, the Tower is home, and you and the team are family. It's time I came back. 

Especially if you're going to put yourself at risk no matter what. I would rather that all my interactions with you were not hospital visits. 

I want days with you in the lab, and movie nights, and dinners where we let the food get cold because we're so excited about talking science. You asked what I wanted when you found me, well, that's it. I want what we had. If that's possible."

Tony smiled weakly, both excited and disappointed at the same time, "Yeah, that's possible. That sounds really good."

"I'm glad," Bruce said softly, he reached over to stroke a stray lock of hair out of Tony's face, and then smiled and added, "you should probably get some rest. You still have a lot of recovering to do."

He wanted to argue, but he did feel really tired, and soon he felt himself drifting off to sleep.


	27. Two days holding your hand

The first thing Tony noticed when he woke up again, other than the pain, was that no one was holding his hand. It seemed like a strange noticing, but it still struck him as somehow note-worthy.

"Hey, you're awake," a warm voice stated.

Tony opened his eyes and saw Rhodey sitting next to him.

"Rhodey."

"How are you feeling, Tony?"

"Awful . . .but I hear that I have you to thank for Bruce deciding to come back to the Tower. He said you two talked."

"We did. I really like him. I can see why you would go for him . . .but I'm not so sure him coming back is down to me at all."

"What do you mean? He said you helped him realize some things that made him decide to stay."

"I might have confirmed some things for him, but I think I was more a sounding board than anything . . .and I think he's staying because he loves you."

"He doesn't," Tony said with a sad headshake, "He asked to go back to what we had. The _friendship_ we had. He also said I was the first _friend_ he had had in a long time."

"Tony, he spent the past two days at your bedside holding your hand. He refused to leave until you woke up, and even then, he only left after he check you over himself. That was the only way we got him out of here, even though he hasn't slept in over two days."

"Post-hulk out? He must have been exhausted. He really needs to sleep after a transformation."

"That's what the other Avengers tried to tell him. They all tried to get him to sleep several times over the last forty-eight hours. They promised him that they would take care of you, but he still refused to leave. Does that sound like someone who's just interested in friendship to you?"

"Then why would he . . . "

"He wants to go back to what's familiar, because he's scared . . .and Tony, he has every right to be. Think about the relationship he was just in."

"I would never . . ."

"I know that, and so does he, but Tony, think about it. He stayed for months in a relationship where he was mistreated, including, from what you've told me, that he was told that he wasn't worthy of love."

"But that's not true . . . "

"It doesn't matter if it's not true, Tony. If he believes it, then he's not going to admit to caring about someone when he doesn't think that person should reciprocate his feelings . . .or even if he's starting to doubt if it's true, he might be questioning his judgment for staying with Captain Rogers as long as he did when he treated him so badly and be reluctant to form a new attachment because he doesn't know if he can trust himself.

The point is Tony, he has lots of reasons to be cautious. Give him time. Listen to him. Let him take the lead, and let him heal. He's already decided to stay instead of run, that's a huge first step, but he needs more time. When he's ready, he'll let you know."

"When did you become a shrink?"

"You know I'm right, Tony. I realize this is partially my fault, because I told you to tell him, but then I met the guy. You're going to have to be a lot more patient and careful than you're used to being if this is going to work, at least at first."

"Are you saying I'm usually impulsive and careless?!?"

"Yes."

"I resent that! I can be patient and careful!"

"Riiight. You do know the definitions of those word, don't you?"

"For Bruce I can," Tony insisted. "I'll wait as long as he wants, because you're right, he needs time to heal."

"Now _that_ I can believe. Hell, I believe you could do just about anything for him . . . " Rhodey agreed, then he smirked and his tone became playful, "And did I hear that last bit correctly? Did Tony Stark just admit I was right about something?"

"I did, but I just suffered massive trauma, including a head injury, so I might not be entirely sure of what I'm saying."

"You can be a real asshole sometimes, Tony."

"I love you too, Honey Bear."

"If you and Dr. Banner _do_ get together, you need to stop that. I am **not** facing the wrath of a jealous Hulk just because you think you're funny."

"I'll keep that in mind . . . Honey Bear."

"You're going to be the death of me . . . ."


	28. 'I love you' without words

Tony noticed the way that Bruce fussed over him during his recovery process. He stayed nearby, always ready to help if he needed him. He carefully watched him to make sure he was okay, and everything was as it should be, (and he tried to be subtle about it, but Tony noticed anyway). Everything he did, from bringing him pain medication when he noticed he was in pain, to talking to him about some exciting scientific breakthrough to distract him when he'd already had the maximum dose of painkillers (and was still noticeably in pain), to moving closer when he stood up in case he faltered, spoke of just how much he cared. 

Although he never said "I love you" once during that time, he never needed to; his actions said it loud and clear. It was incredibly sweet, and slightly maddening at times, and it got Tony thinking. Bruce was recovering too. His injuries might not be physical, but they were no less real. Was there a way he could do the same? Could he show Bruce that he cared, and that he was there if he was needed? He desperately wanted to, but he wasn't quite sure how to do it.

He decided to start with tea. Whenever he noticed that Bruce was carrying extra tension in his shoulders, or otherwise seemed stressed, he brought him a mug of his favorite tea. The gesture was simple enough, but he hoped it communicated his message.

Proximity was another way he tried to let Bruce know how much he cared. Any time he saw a distance look in the physicist's eye, or he started to subtly shrink in on himself, Tony would move closer to him. Not close enough to be confrontational or uncomfortable, but close enough to remind the other man of his presence, and hopefully of his willingness to listen if he ever chose to talk about what was bothering him.

Bruce seemed to appreciate the gestures, but now that Tony was well, he seemed to be getting more and more distant by the day. Each day he looked more tired and drawn, and he seemed to be retreating into himself more daily.

"Have you been sleeping?" Tony asked him point-blank one morning when the doctor seemed completely exhausted.

"I'm fine, Tony," he said with a labored half-smile.

"That's not what I asked. You seem really tired, and you have for a while. Are you having trouble sleeping?" he pressed.

"A little," Bruce admitted with a shrug.

"Anything I can do to help?" the billionaire asked earnestly.

"No, I think I just need some more time to adjust to sleeping in an actual bed again," he dismissed.

Tony didn't let it drop though. He knew he was flirting with the line of being too pushy and interfering with Bruce's privacy, but he asked JARVIS to let him know what was causing the physicist's insomnia. The AI replied that the doctor awoke startled multiple times each night, seemingly after having a nightmare.

Armed with this new information, he asked JARVIS to let him know the next time Bruce had a nightmare. He had a plan.

Unfortunately, he didn't have a long wait. Later that same night his AI informed him that Dr. Banner's heart rate and respiratory rate were elevated, and he was crying out in his sleep.

Tony rushed to Bruce's floor, and hesitated outside of the door until JARVIS told him Bruce was awake. Then he knocked on the door.

"Bruce? Are you alright? JARVIS said you were in distress," Tony called through the door.

The door opened on Bruce dressed in a pair of sweatpants, the shadows of his troubled dreams still visible on his face. 

He invited Tony in, and the billionaire forced himself to walk past Bruce and sit on the sofa, despite his strong desire to envelop him in his arms and try to chase the haunted look off of his face.

"You have your AI monitoring me?" Bruce questioned as he shut the door, turning around and raising an eyebrow pointedly at the other man.

"I was worried," Tony admitted.

"I'm fine," Bruce countered.

Tony said nothing, just sat on the couch looking at Bruce. The other man stared back with a carefully schooled neutral look for awhile, but after a few minutes he looked away and seemed to crumble in on himself.

"I've been having nightmares," he admitted in a defeated whisper, as he stared intently at the floor.

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"No."

"Do you want me to stay?"

Bruce looked up at him, his expression dubious. 

Tony just shrugged and added casually, "I had a lot of nightmares after Afghanistan and the Chitauri attack. I didn't like being alone afterward. Having someone there helped."

Bruce seemed to consider, but didn't say anything. His eyes betrayed his doubt that Tony truly meant what he said.

"I'm serious, Bruce. It's no trouble if you want me to stay."

The doctor hesitated a beat more, but then nodded.

"Do you want me to sleep on the couch?" Tony asked.

"That wouldn't be fair, I can sleep on the couch. I'm the one who asked you to stay."

"Don't be ridiculous. This is your home, you should sleep in your bed. I don't mind."

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Especially not when you're doing me a favor."

"It's not a problem. I told you I don't mind."

To make his point, Tony laid down on the couch and pulled the blanket that was draped over the back of it onto himself.

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked one last time.

"Positive. Now, I'm here if you need me. Try to get some sleep," Tony directed.

The physicist complied and made his way back to his bedroom.

Tony sighed and settled himself on the couch. He strained his ears to listen for any sounds coming from Bruce's room, but he couldn't hear anything. He decided that was probably a good sign, and let himself drift.

A little over an hour later, Tony was awakened from his light sleep by whimpers coming from the neighboring room. He quickly and quietly made his way to Bruce's bedside, and paused when he saw the other man tossing and turning, his face a mask of fear.

He reached out gently, and shook Bruce's shoulder.

"Bruce," he called softly.

He got no response, so he tried again. This time, Bruce's eyes snapped open. They were fearful and tinged slightly green as they quickly took in his surrounding.

"Tony?" he asked weakly.

"Yeah. I'm here, big guy," he answered gently, reaching out a hand to rest it softly on Bruce's shoulder, (once again stopping himself from wrapping the other man up in an embrace, because that would probably only put him more on edge).

Bruce froze for a second, but then reached out and pulled Tony into a hug. The engineer was surprised, but grateful for the chance to hold Bruce. He felt so helpless, and at least being able to give a little comfort like this made him feel slightly less useless.

He rubbed one of his hands up and down Bruce's back, and Bruce seemed to wilt in his arms. He buried his face into Tony's shoulder and started to cry.

Tony shifted them both slightly so that he could sit next to Bruce on the bed. He continued rubbing his back, and moved his other hand to gently card his fingers through Bruce's hair just above the nape of his neck.

"It's alright. It's going to be okay," he soothed softly.

"I'm sorry . . ." Bruce sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shhh. Hey, it's alright. It's alright to need someone, Bruce. I'm here. I'm here for you, okay? And I'm not leaving," he reassured.

Bruce answered by snuggling closer.

They stayed that way for several long minutes. Until Bruce's crying quieted, and his grip on Tony loosened. He still didn't let go, and neither did Tony make a move to unentangle himself from Bruce. Instead he slowly guided them both back onto the bed, careful to keep Bruce in his arms, and settled them in their new horizontal position. Bruce pillowed his head on Tony's chest, and Tony wrapped his arms tighter around him. 

Tony looked down at the man he had cradled against him, feeling intensely protective of him. He looked at his worn face, half-hidden by Tony's shirt and half-illuminated by the blue glow of the arc reactor, and noted that finally his features had started to relax. He hoped the glow didn't bother him, it didn't seem to, but he couldn't be sure.

Bruce's body relaxed a fraction, and his cheek softly nuzzled Tony's chest. The gesture reminded Tony just how close the other man was. Close enough to hear his heartbeat, and under normal circumstances that would fill him with panic. Ever since Afghanistan he'd been wary of people getting too close, especially to his chest. Quick hugs were fine, but prolonged contact like this would normally be out of the question. In this case though, he welcomed the closeness. He wanted Bruce in his space, wanted him to hear his heartbeat, and to be comforted by it.

The thought made Tony suddenly hyper-aware of the pounding in his chest. He imagined what Bruce must be hearing, and hoped that somehow his heart communicated what he was thinking and feeling. He hoped each beat communicated his intention to stay by Bruce's side, and that just maybe among their echoes Bruce could hear whispers of 'I love you.'


	29. Confessions

Bruce slept soundly through the rest of the night, much to Tony's relief. He hated to think how much Bruce must have been suffering the last several nights, and was glad that he finally found some relief from his nightmares. Maybe he could convince Bruce to let him stay, at least on the couch, for a few more nights.

He was still pondering how he should broach the subject with Bruce, when he felt him stirring in his arms. 

He seemed to come to awareness slowly. First, he sighed softly and leaned his head slightly harder against Tony. Then his eyes fluttered open and he cast a quick glance up at Tony's face. A slight smile flitted across his face for a moment, but then he seemed to process what he had seen, and he started. His body stiffened in Tony's arms, and his heart pounded against Tony's ribcage where his chest was pressed up against his side.

"Bruce. Bruce, it's okay," Tony soothed.

"I'm sorry," Bruce choked out.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he reassured.

"Really? Do you want to explain why we ended up in bed together? Because I'm pretty sure I should apologize for that. I should have never put you in that position."

Bruce sat up and made a point of putting distance between them. Tony sat up too, and made sure to meet Bruce's eye before he spoke.

"What position? You had a nightmare; I came in to help you calm down. I held you, and you calmed down enough to sleep the rest of the night. No big deal. Nothing wrong with taking comfort in someone else's arms. It's human nature to want someone close when you're scared, and I was more than willing to stay with you. . . In fact, I'd be more than willing to stay with you tomorrow night if you think it would help you sleep . . .that is if you want me to."

"Of course I want you to, but that just proves Steve was right about me. He said I was a slut who would crawl into bed with you the first chance I got. . . I told him he was wrong, but here we are . . .and if I'm honest, all I want is for you to stay."

"Bruce, he was wrong. You're not a slut, and you never would have cheated on him. He should never have said that . . But now, he shouldn't be keeping you from moving on. Not if you want to, and you're ready."

"But we never broke up . . . This might be cheating."

"First of all, nothing happened, you just need someone nearby, it could have been anyone, so even if you were still together it's not cheating. Second, he tried to kill you, and you moved halfway around the world. That counts as breaking up, so like I said, you're free to move on if you want to."

"What if I'm not ready to move on?"

"Then what we do is up to you. I can leave, or sleep on the couch, or I could just be another warm body in the bed. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"But it _does_ mean something! Tony, you're wrong, it's not just about a warm body, and it couldn't have been just anyone. . . You make me feel safe. I know I can trust you, so I can relax when you're with me. I know you'll protect me . . .this may sound stupid, but the way you hold me, it makes me feel like you'd take on the whole world for me . . .not that you should or that I would want you to . . ."

"Bruce, that's not stupid. I would. I would do anything to make sure you were safe."

Bruce shook his head slightly, "He was wrong about the way you look at me."

"What do you mean?" Tony asked, surprised by the non-sequitur.

"He said you looked at me like I was a piece of meat. Like you wanted to rip all my clothes off of me and bend me over the nearest piece of furniture. . . . I never believed him, I knew it wasn't true, but I've never seen how wrong he was until now." 

"Oh? How do I look at you?"

Bruce swallowed nervously before he answered, and Tony hoped he wasn't pushing too hard. 

"Like I'm the most amazing thing you've ever seen. You look at me so fondly, you'd think I was the most precious thing in the world . . . .How can you look at me like that?" Bruce asked, his voice quavering a little by the end.

"Because that's how I feel. You're the most amazing man I've ever met, and I love you."

"Why?"

The word came out strangled and harsh as Bruce choked on it. It rang ugly in the air around them, and Tony couldn't ignore it. Bruce wasn't fishing for compliments, he wasn't trying to get Tony to wax poetically about him, he was just genuinely confused, and that was not okay.

"Because you're smart; so smart that not only can you keep up with me, and I'm a genius, but sometimes I have trouble keeping up with you. 

And you're strong. Strong enough that you've survived things no one should have to live through. Strong enough to keep a rage monster at bay. 

And you're kind and caring, even though you've been screwed over enough times that you would be completely justified in having a 'fuck you' attitude toward everyone and everything . . .but you don't, instead you help where you can, even if the people you help can never repay your kindness.

You're understanding. You really listen to other people when they talk, and you care about what they say . . . I know I can trust you . . . and you get me, which very few people do, not even Rhodey understands me completely and he's my oldest friend. . . .oh! And you're insanely sexy. Your brain alone is incredibly hot, but when you combine that with the rest of you, you're the sexiest person I've ever seen. . . . You're only real flaw is that you think you're worthless and unlovable, when nothing could be further from the truth."

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"How? How can you love me like that?" he asked, his voice sounding lost, and tears forming in his eyes. 

"Do you still not believe that I could love you?" Tony asked sadly.

He reached over to envelop Bruce in his arms. He thought he might pull away, but he had to try. To his surprise, Bruce melted into him.

"No, I believe you," he sniffled into his shoulder. "I know you love me . . But it scares me. . .my mom loved me, she tried to protect me, but my father killed her for it . . .and Betty loved me, but she got smashed, and then her father almost killed her to get to me. . .can anyone blame her for being afraid of me after that? For wanting to get as far away from me as she could after all the pain and misery I caused her?"

Tony thought that he easily could. If she really loved him, she wouldn't have left him; no matter what. And if she knew him at all she could never be afraid of him; Hulk or no Hulk.

"She had the right idea. Everyone who I care about gets hurt. . . . So I'm terrified, because I love you . . . ."

The confession sounded like it had been torn from him. It left him with a shudder, and his tears soaked Tony's shoulder as he started crying harder.

"Bruce . . .shhh . . .it's okay."

"Tony, it's been haunting my dreams. Steve sneering at me, telling me I don't deserve love, and that I betrayed everyone who ever loved me . . .and I think he's going to hit me, so I brace myself, but he doesn't. He just laughs, and I when I look up to see why he's not hitting me, he's just got this evil smirk on his face, and I realize he's got blood on his hands, and you're on the floor, beaten, and broken, and too still . . .or sometimes it's Ross, and he pulls the arc reactor out of your chest while he makes me watch, and tells me that's what happens to people who protect monsters . . .and sometimes it's my father, beating you to death while he taunts me. He dares me to intervene, but says I'm too weak to do it, and he's right, because I'm too scared to move . . . The details change, but you always pay the price, and it's always my fault."

"Bruce . . ." Tony said brokenly, unsure what to make of this new revelation. 

"I don't know what to do . . .because I almost lost you in Hanoi, and I realized I didn't want to waste my time with you with fears and regrets . . .and I thought if we stayed friends maybe it would be okay . . .maybe that could be enough . . .but it didn't work . . . because I couldn't lie to myself. . .couldn't tell myself I didn't love you . . .and now I'm so scared, so afraid I'm going to be the reason you get hurt, that I'm doing exactly what I didn't want to do. I'm pulling away, because I don't know what else to do."

"I'm not going to let you," Tony said resolutely, (praying it was the right thing to say). "I love you, and I'm not going to let you face this alone. You don't get to pull away. We're going to face this together."

He held Bruce a little tighter and planted a kiss on his temple.

"You're not alone. You have me, and the team, and we'll be there for you. Whenever you need us, we'll be there."


	30. Epilogue

Tony was as good as his word. He stayed by Bruce's side, and listened when Bruce wanted to talk, or just stayed close when he preferred silence. At night, he held him close and tried to keep the nightmares at bay, and when that wasn't enough, he comforted him afterward.

The team did their part too. Especially Thor, who turned out to be a great confidante for Bruce. Tony wasn't exactly sure what the two of them talked about, but Bruce always seemed to get just the perspective he needed after talking to the god of thunder. He supposed that centuries worth of wisdom probably had its advantages.

Eventually, Bruce started to come back out of his shell, and he and Tony started dating. It was a strange distinction, in many ways they were already together, and they both had already declared their love for one another, but their dynamic shifted. Pepper considered it going public, Clint commented that they were finally leaving the damn Tower every once in a while, and Thor considered it the beginning of their courtship, but to Bruce and Tony it meant they were finally able to get out of the shadow of the past. That wasn't to say that there weren't days where demons of the past came back to haunt them, but it was no longer a daily occurrence. They were moving forward, and they were excited to face the future together. 

A year passed, and Bruce and Tony's relationship had only grown stronger. They were both happier than they had been in a long time. They each had finally found a partner that understood them, and they weren't eager to let that go. So they decided they would make it official, and got married in a small ceremony on the roof of the Tower. 

Their teammates, Rhodey, and Pepper cheered with joy as the judge pronounced the pair "husband and husband," and presented "Mr. Stark-Banner and Dr. Banner-Stark." They had all been waiting for this day, knowing it would come. Since they had first seen them together, (or in Rhodey and Pepper's case, since they first heard Tony talk about Dr. Banner), they knew the playboy billionaire would one day forgo all others, and the wandering, homeless physicist who tried to fade into the background would put down roots after he found a home with a man who didn't know the meaning of subtle. They just hadn't seen the long, winding path it would take to get there.


End file.
